We Still Have Father’s Bullet-Torn Blanket

Jaweda is a student at Bamiyan University. She is sharing the story of losing her father based on how her mother had narrated it to her. She retells the story of hardship that her mother experienced after she lost her husband.

Narrator: Jaweda (victim’s daughter)

Victim: Sayed Mohammad Alam Hussaini

Date of incident: 1998

Place of incident: Bamiyan

His name was Sayed Mohammad Alam Hussaini and he was 23 or 25-years-old. Yes, he was very young. He died on the year as I was born, in 1998. His place of birth and residence was Bamiyan Province and he belonged to the Bedmishkeen area of Yakaolang District. He had studied only until second or third grade. Due to some problems, he was not able to continue his education. He was a farmer by occupation but in his free time, he usually read books and could write as well. After my father’s death, we migrated to Iran for three years. My father died on December 30.

When we migrated to Iran, we did not take any of his belongings or writings with us. After we came back, none of his possessions were there either. I do not have any brothers. It is just my mother and three of my sisters. We did not have anyone to help us so we had no other choice but to leave for Iran. That is why we do not have any of my father’s possessions that I could bring here today with me. There is only one blanket left. When the fighting happened, [my father sent] all of us to the mountains to flee from danger. My mother, three sisters, and I were in the mountains when my father had gone to bring a blanket to keep us warm. It was winter so it was cold. He was moving toward the mountain with the blanket when he was shot at. The bullet struck his back and left a hole through the blanket. I have brought the torn blanket with me today. After going to and coming back from Iran, we no longer had my father’s personal items with us. He had many diaries filled with his writings but he did not have anyone else here to preserve them. He only had us but we had left to Iran at that time.

It is mountainous here and he was struck with a bullet while he was walking towards the mountain. My grandfather and cousins brought us and my father back from the mountain. Afterward, I think my father was alive for one more day because there were no hospitals back then advanced enough to treat a bullet wound like that. Yes, they did not exist back then. After one day, my father passed away in our home in Bedmishkeen area. They [grandfather and cousins] had brought him back home since if he had been shot in his abdomen, he could not be saved. They did not take him to the hospital. He was alive for one day before passing away. Only the families of my cousin and mine went to the mountain, but there was another woman from Bedmishkeen coming toward the mountain with my father. However, she survived and is still alive today. Only my father was lost. We did not stay in the mountain after that. Only my father died.

The first time I heard about the fighting, people were saying that it was not that intense and not many people had been killed. The next time, the fighting was intense [had more casualties too] and maybe that is why it was over sooner. The people returned to their homes from their places of hiding in the mountains. Maybe that is why we also came back home. My grandfather brought us to Akhundu area about one week after the attack. My grandfather, who had become our guardian after my father, along with my three uncles and cousins buried my father. We only had them. My father was buried near a shrine called “Shah Qalandar” in Bedmishkeen area.

My mother was young and she tells us about the problems and hardships that we faced [after my father’s death]. She tells us about the [difficult] life she had. Obviously, my mother was very young. She only had three daughters with only one year gap between them. My mother was very young. She said that when my father died, there were not many casualties. There was no one to emphasize with her and tell her they are with her to support her. There were no such things. My mother fought [for us] all alone and faced many hardships. She even says that we did not even have shoes. She used to patch and sew our shoes together. We had a lot of such problems. When my grandfather was alive, he took us under his guardianship and he used to provide for our living expenses. He had four wives and my father was from his eldest [first] wife. My father did not have full-siblings. He only had one full-sister who lives in Iran. As for my uncles (father’s half-brothers), except for creating problems for us, they do not provide any help. As long as my grandfather was alive, my uncles used to help us. Now that he is no more, we have no one to help us. Three of my sisters are married now. Before that, we used to make hand sown [items] and sell them in the market. Also, before we sold our cow, we used to make ends meet that way.

I do not know the details [of how the incident took place]. I don’t know, maybe when he was fleeing towards the mountain, they were there and fired at him. Other than that, I do not have any more information. My mother says she could not enjoy her youth and how it went. There is a lump in her stomach area and when we ask her about it, she responds that it is all because of grief and sadness. She tells us that it is because of stress and worry that that area has hardened and now she is unwell. Her hands and feet hurt. She has worked a lot and now her wrist joints all hurt. We cannot even afford to treat her. There are some problems which prevents us from taking her to the hospital for treatment and her betterment.

I am a university student now. When I got accepted to the university, I told my mother that I would not go because she did not have the money to give me to go study. She told me to go because God is merciful; He has helped us until now without my father and He shall continue to help us.

I currently live in Bamiyan and with the seven thousand provided for living expenses, I manage. We do not have a financial support or a brother that can work, we only have my mother and she is unwell now. She is old and cannot work to provide for me. She cannot go work and give me money. Currently, with the living allowance that my university provides for me, I manage. My father was a hard worker and used to work in the fields day and night because he was a farmer. He was young back then. I heard from many people, they praised [how hard working] my father was. He was youthful and always used to work hard to provide for his family in an honest manner. Despite that, my mother tells me that my grandfather used to punish my father a lot and used his catchphrase, “may God take you young” a lot. However, I do not know the reason why he used to say that. Even then, my father always respected my grandfather and always worked hard to keep him happy and satisfied. Yes [we have pictures of my father], which one should I bring? Yes, [we live in Bedmishkeen currently] in a single room which my grandfather had given us at that time. My uncles are fighting over that now but we still live in that home.