I Called Him Fifty Times; He Did Not Pick Up His Phone

Narrator: Zeba Zafari (sister)

Victim: Mahdi Zafari

Date of the incident: 24 October 2020

Location of the incident: District 13, Kabul City, Pul-e Khoshk, Dasht-e Barchi, Kawsar Danesh Educational Center

In the name of God

My name is Zeba Zafari and my father's name is Allah Bakhsh. We come from Maidan Wardak Province, Hesa-e Awal in Behsud, Oba village. I am 19 years old, a 10th-grade night shift student at Abdur Rahim Shahid School. I was born in Iran; I was three years old when we returned to Afghanistan. I don't work alongside my studies as I married two years ago, and I dont yet have children. For the moment, I'm studying and preparing for the university entrance exam.

We live in Barchi, in the "Doghabad" area. My house is there and my father's house is in "Mahdia" town. The Martyr was our elder brother, I am the second child, and my other brothers are younger than me. I have one sister, and three other brothers, besides my martyred brother, Mahdi.

Our family’s financial situation is not good; our only breadwinner is my father. Thank God, we have a large family. Mahdi was working as an apprentice in a mechanical shop and was paid five hundred or so per week. The year he finished school, he decided to prepare for the university entrance exam for a year or two, hoping he would get good results afterward. He was very skilled in mechanical and electrical work. He didn’t feel hopeful about the world, he studied for eight months. in less than four months after that, he was martyred.

[Mahdi] was born in 1999 in Iran. I don't know in which city, but we lived mostly in Tehran and Isfahan, my mother's three children were born in Iran, following which we returned to Afghanistan. My three brothers and one sister were born here (in Afghanistan).

When we returned from Iran, we lived in a rented house for a few years. As it was difficult in Afghanistan financially, my father went back to Iran to work and earn money. My brother worked very hard. He used to sell ice cream. Even though his earnings were little, he continued working. He used to sell chewing gum and did odd jobs. He used to work and attend school at the same time. As we were very poor, we did not have water or bread. Mahdi and I used to go to take out water from wells. These were his major responsibilities at home. He used to work in an automobile repair shop, selling ice cream or chewing gum. My father spent his salary on this house. He bought a mobile phone for himself. Mahdi said he needed a mobile phone and a computer if he had to study. Last year, he studied but his fate was to be martyred.

<>pHis academic performance was very good up to the sixth grade. Later, he quarreled with a teacher who then failed him three years in a row. He was discouraged but attended school up to 12th grade. He still performed well but the teacher’s attitude made him lose his interest.

My cousin encouraged him to go and study, saying that studying is useful and that labor jobs will not work for long. So, he decided to study and prepare for the entrance exam. My happy memory of him is when I got first place in the class, he would cheer me on even though he didn't study. He used to pay for my tuition with his weekly income.

Because he was working, he couldn't attend school where he had to study for four or five hours every day. So, he transferred his application to the night shift school at Abdul Rahim Shahid. He used to go there. In the year when he decided to prepare for the entrance exam, he said, "I will take care of my studies well, so I don't need to attend school in person." He discussed the matter with his [school] principal and said he would visit the school twice a week to show up for attendance. The rest of his time was spent in the preparation center, from morning to evening.

His favorite field of study was electrical engineering because he was very good at electrical work. When he was at home, he installed the wiring system of the house. Interestingly, before he was killed, he had made a loudspeaker at home; it is still there.

I was at the market, it was 3.30 pm when I heard a sound, I thought it was a vehicle tire that had exploded; it was far away. Then when I went home, I saw people near our house talking to each other, I asked them what had happened, and they said an explosion had happened in that center... near the Alimi Clinic. I instantly remembered that my brother was studying there. I called him, I must have called him fifty times, but he did not pick up his phone. I remember well that I called fifty times, but he didn't answer. My mother has a neurological disorder, she suffers from seizures. I didn't want to call her. I called my dad; he was at work and he said he did not know anything. He went home and I said Mother should better not know.

I hoped my brother Mahdi might pick up his phone. No matter how many times I called him, no one answered the phone. My elder brother-in-law has a bakery. He returned home after he had transported the wounded and martyrs from the attack. When I saw his car bloodied, I was shocked and scared. They said nothing had happened to my brother. This made me suspicious, so I called my little brother. He said Mahdi was missing and my cousins were looking for him. A few minutes later, they called and said they had found Mehdi, he was just wounded, and his arm was injured. A few minutes later, I called my dad. My dad said his arm was injured and I asked to speak to my brother. Suddenly my father got emotional. I didn't understand it, I thought it might be because of other injured people.

I called my mother; she was unwell and had not been allowed to go see my brother. They kept me unaware until the next day.

They woke me up early in the morning and said, "Your mother had a seizure; they have taken her to the hospital. You should go to stay with your brothers." I prayed quickly and joined my sister-in-law and mother-in-law and got in the car. I thought they come with me because I was alone and it was still dark. When we arrived there, I saw a group of people, and my mother and I realized that we had lost Mahdi. Both of us passed out and regained consciousness by noon and saw my brother's body. I passed out again and woke up by 2 pm. <..long silence..>

I live away from my family, so, this doesn't affect me as much. But it is very difficult for my mother since she lives beside my brother’s belongings, photos, and boots. She has suffered greatly. Her hair has turned gray, and grief has worsened her neurological disorders. My mother is 37 or 38 years old, and due to our economic situation, we have not been able to provide proper treatment.

We have visited shrines, as recommended, but this has not helped. We do not usually let her attend gatherings to keep her mind calm; we don’t let her go to the mosque. When we are at a party, I make sure she doesn’t talk too much with people to avoid further mental disturbance.

When my little brothers say they dreamed [about Mahdi] and tell my mother such stories, she gets a headache and seizure. She is mostly alone, there is no other adult to help her in case of seizures. My younger brothers are now afraid of my mother, as she doesn't understand things as a result of her many seizures. God forbid, she becomes a madwoman.

Even my younger brothers are developing mental health problems. When I left to go to school, they asked me not to go as I might get killed as Mahdi did. They are very young, six or seven-year-old kids. Despite their young age, they have lost interest in school, and have never been to school.

I later learned in more detail what had happened on that terrible day of the 24th of October. My cousin was also preparing for the University entrance exams and was attending the same center as my brother. That day, my cousin and brother had lunch together, prayed, and went to the educational center. My cousin had forgotten his ID card and so went to the Iqra" library, while my brother went to the center, and was caught in the suicide attack. The attack happened at the gate of the school. The center would allow students to go out in groups of 20 people. It did not happen when the first batch came out. It happened when the second batch stepped out, including my brother. The suicide attack took place against the second batch of students. Sixty people were martyred and many more were wounded.

My cousin heard the explosion and later found my brother and took him to the hospital. They had then called my father. He was initially taken to Ali Jinnah Hospital, but as it was not well equipped for surgeries, Mahdi was transferred to the emergency hospital. There were so many dead and wounded and not enough doctors to attend to patients at Ali Jinnah. If he had been immediately taken to a hospital where he could be treated properly, he might have survived.

Mahdi must have been close to the explosion as his eyebrows, and his hair was completely burnt, and his face was wounded. He had been alive for a few minutes [after the explosion] and was still breathing until he was transferred to these two hospitals. He had lost a lot of blood and sustained a deep shrapnel wound to his heart, he did not survive. Doctors explained that the shrapnel caused serious damage and made his heart stop.

According to my cousins, when we lost my brother - he was my father's eldest son - my father put his handkerchief in his mouth and screamed a lot. My father does not want us to know his feelings as my mother gets nervous. My father has been impacted; he is always at work and is busy with people, so it may not be too difficult for him, although I have not seen it myself.

ISIS took responsibility for the attack, but nobody from the government came to visit us. The government gives one hundred thousand or two hundred thousand Afs to families of martyrs, and fifty thousand Afs to those who are wounded. That is it. I think they made a list based on the information provided by the educational center. They then called and [my father received the money]. Well, what can I say about the government that kills and then gives out money?

I don’t know if Kawsar Danesh Educational Center held a Fatiha ceremony for the martyrs but they did commemorate the 40th day after the attack.

Mahdi was the kindest among us in the family. He worked with my other cousin and a cousin of ours was his classmate. We all grew up together, and we never witnessed him quarreling or fighting with others. He was fond of electrical work. At home, he liked creating things, he even made a cooler at home. He was loved by our family. When he was martyred, our relatives gathered and made him a beautiful tomb because they loved him very much.

They didn't say anything [about why the negligence happened and the suicide attack took place]. I used to go to a sewing class, next to that center. Before the suicide bombing happened, they did not have the means to keep the place secure. There was only one policeman, and he didn't search people properly. After the suicide attack happened and people were injured and killed, they put in place more security. Now, they do a comprehensive inspection and don't let people in without ID cards. I didn't go to the center. After Kausar Danesh announced the families of martyrs could have one student free of tuition, I attended their classes for almost three months, but since the quarantine was imposed, I haven't been there. Schools are also closed due to quarantine.

Our only wish is for peace to come in Afghanistan; it is very insecure. And then, my father, talked to leaders a few times, but they think of their interests, not the interest of the people. We have no expectations from the government because it has never listened to this nation, and have not acted based on people’s demands. If peace comes, we can live peacefully. If we don't have money, we can, at least, live in peace and earn a piece of bread. We currently live in a tough situation. when I go somewhere, to our aunt's house or the market, we are not sure whether we will come back alive or dead because the security is very bad. Furthermore, the family members of the victims of this attack suffer in their mental health.

First, it is the government's fault, it should secure the borders and not let anyone into this country, and there would never be such destruction and misery in Afghanistan. Maybe this government is involved in it. Yes, we want peace [at any price]. Peace should bring people safety. It means women should no longer have to stay at home like in the old days.

I do not have much hope. I have told my husband several times to leave, what are we going to do here? In some years, when we have children, and they go to school, we will always be worried until they return home. I suggested we should leave, but he refused. With the difficult situation we have gone through, I have lost hope. I wish peace would come. [My husband] is a close relative of mine. [He is someone who encourages me to study].

I am very interested in school; I want to be able to answer the questions of my children when they grow up. In the past, when mothers could not read, they were unable to understand issues. They would not let their daughters study in some places, thinking that is a bad place. Going to school, at least, gives us the ability to think and understand things, understand society.

I am very interested in Law. God willing, I will be able to study it. I want to raise the voice of my brother who was martyred. Why are these people so indifferent, especially those who work in this government? Such indifference does not help in this country; we are losing our loved ones. I want their voices to be heard. The joy of my life is to live a peaceful life so that I can take care of myself and my children and help my mother live in peace. I don't wish for anything special.