AHRDO

They brought him covered with a shroud

Narrator: Aminuddin Ahmadi (father)

Victim: Abdul Hakim Ahmadi

The time of the incident: March 2014

The place of the incident: Grishk District, Helmand Province

My name is Aminuddin. My father's name is Ewaz Ahmadi. My son's name is Abdul Hakim. His surname is Ahmadi. He was 21-years-old when he was martyred. He was single and had studied until the ninth grade. At the time of his death, he was a school student. He was with some of his classmates and wanted to go to Iran. He did not say anything about it to me. He had hidden it from me. They were trapped in the middle of a war. He was martyred there in Helmand in Grishk District.

He wanted to go to work because our economic situation was not good. It is still not good now. We were not able to prepare stationary, clothes, and other necessities for him to go to school. He was suffering, so he left. In March 2014, it was raining. None of our family members knew that he left until he reached Kabul. He called me to stop wandering behind me, as I going to Iran.

I told him to come back. I told him in Hazaragi, "There is no bread hanging in Iran for you to collect." He said, "No, I'm going. It's difficult for me to study here." He went with three of his friends. I saw one of his friends who had come with his body. I asked him, and he said that they went to Helmand and stayed in Grishk for the night. In the morning, they wanted to go to the Iranian border. They were walking away from the hotel and the market when they heard gunfire. They walked ten steps back and then a bullet hit him. He fell and remained there.

On the day he was martyred, he remained in Grishk. His friends had called someone in Kabul, probably, as they had friends in the government. So, they coordinated the issue with them. The government brought the body to Kabul and handed him over to the governmental 400 Bed military hospital. Only one bullet hit him on the left side and it came out on the right side.

His friends told us that he was running ahead of them. They said, "He jumped to one side in front of me. I thought somewhere his leg got stuck and fell. I passed him, and I said 'get up and let's go.'" His friend said that Abdul didn't make any sound: "I came a little way back. When he was rolling, he didn't say anything to me. If he did say anything, his conversation was not understood." When they brought him to Kabul. I was in Nayak Bazaar. He had his ID card with him so a government staff member had called relevant officials in Yakawlang District and said that a person reading his name and village had been killed in Grishk, and instructed them to inform his family. I was in the market and I did not know anything about it. A shop keeper from our village called me to go to his shop. I went to his shop and sat in front of his shop.

Then he quickly told me, without introduction, that a man named Abdul Hakim, son of Aminuddin from Tajko Village, was martyred. He asked if I knew him. I said, "No, I don't know." A minute later, I stood and went to the bazaar behind the shop. One of my brothers was in Kabul. I called him, telling him the issue. I found out that someone else had called my brother before calling me, so my brother was already at the hospital. The road to Bamiyan was closed and planes are not accessible to poor people like me. After two days, they left at night. The body came to Bamiyan via Ghorband Valley. The Bamiyan governor cooperated. He provided an ambulance and brought him here. When I heard the news, I went back home. It was already morning. My wife was confused. "What happened?" she asked. "What is up? Why did you come back?" I said that I didn't want to go, and then she looked at me and said, "No, there is a something you aren't telling me." I said that nothing had happened. There is a valley behind our house. I left because she should not know about her son, but she came after me. From there, I turned left and went to my father's house. My father was alive at that time. God forgive me, when I turned left, she followed me again. She followed me and said, "Why are you not telling the truth? What is the matter? Something happened that you are hiding from me."

We were having this conversation when suddenly she fell down as she was paralyzed. None of her arms and legs were working. This was while I had not told her anything yet. You know that our people are a type of people who, when they hear a story, a conversation, they happily go to the top of the hill and shout it and spread that story. I had to say it to my wife myself, as people told me in the market. I told myself that someone may tell her while collecting water or somewhere else, which would not be good for her and me.

So I told her the news. She started crying, she cried loudly. My daughters who was collecting water heard and came to my father’s house. When they arrived at the gate, they understood the story. Whatever was in their hands dropped down and they started crying and moaning. It was a hard time. My younger daughter fell down. Her situation got worse and I had to bring her to the doctor in Yakawlang Hospital. Doctors did not accepted her and referred to Bamiyan Provincial Hospital.

We didn't tell her mother at all where she was. We brought her to Bamiyan Hospital. Bamiyan kept her in bed for three nights. After that, we brought her back. Fatiha ceremony was over. Her mother was always in pain, she was always screaming that she had a headache. We took her to the hospital in Bamiyan. My wife now had a high blood pressure, which was 230 or so. After her son was killed, her blood pressure is always high. My daughter also has a health issue now. If there is any noise, she will fall. Those are my problems.

He was still a child; he did not think about these things that one day his memories would be written. He was a quiet and calm child. If he was sitting in a meeting or in a classroom, he would not speak a single word. If anyone saw, they would think that he might have a problem and maybe he is dumb. But if the teacher asked the lesson, he would explain it the way the teacher explained it. He was extremely sensitive to lies.

We receive 40,000 AFN/year from the Martyrs and Disabled Department. To be honest, in the current situation, we do not have any expectations of government officials because they are corrupt. If you go to them, they would expect you to give them some money. What else can we expect from this kind of the government? His nine grade school books and a picture are left. His friends brought his phone too. Yes, the only thing they brought to me from there is his phone. They didn't bring us any of his clothes from there. They brought him in a shroud from there.

We gave him his clothes here. He had some kind of new clothes. I hid his phone from his mother and his sisters so that they wouldn't see it. I will keep those books and photo in the museum. What can I say about him? Nothing to say. He left us alone. May God grant him paradise. I pray for his soul to be happy.

They Were Shot in Their Chests

Narrator: Asadullah Fayzi

Victim: Baqijan Fayzi

Time of the incident: 1997

The place of the incident: Qorachin Village, Chaharbulak District, Mazar-e-Sharif

Type of incident: Gunshot

My father's name was Baqijan Fayzi. He was almost 38-years-old. He was young at the time of the accident. He had married when he was so young. I was about four or five years old when he died; I was very small. One day, I was standing at the courtyard door. I noticed that as he walked down the alley with another person, a hat was on his head, although he normally didn't wear a hat. I didn't recognize him. I said, "Hey! Hey! Who are you?" He was ahead of me. When he looked, I saw that he was my father. He smiled at me. This was very interesting to me.

My father's birthplace is Qorachin Village, Chaharbolak District, Balkh Province. As a farmer, he was busy with agriculture and peasantry.

He studied in school up to the six and seventh grades, but he had not finished school. He had two children, one girl and one boy. I was older than my sister. I am now 24-years-old. My sister, Fatima, is two years younger than me, she is twenty-two-years-old. She has finished her studies and now she is a schoolteacher. She has also studied up to the fourteenth grade.

The attack happened near our village named Qizilqala. It was Taliban’s last attack, after which the Taliban fell. I think it was 1996 or 1997.

The incident was in the morning, it was eight or nine o'clock. The Taliban came to our village and gathered the people of the village in the mosque. My father told us that he should go too. They took my father and my uncle. After three days, both of them were martyred in Qazal Qala Village as I mentioned. They were serving the people in the village. They were the elders of the village. Taliban killed them anyway. Taliban committed genocide in their first round of attack. They killed so many people in their first attack.

His family started looking for him but did not find him. In the village, someone has seen these two people who had been killed, so they told their families. My cousins, though they were small, had run away from home. They had hide in a plain. My father had told me not to go to the mosque because he was worried that I would be taken by the Taliban, but I said, "No, let them take me too." I was not afraid.

They took them that morning. I remember my father's uncle, who was an elderly person. Taliban tied his hands behind his back and carried him towards the mosque. I did not go to the mosque myself because I was small. When they were taken away, the women were crying. My grandmother was there, my mother was there, but the Taliban did not release anyone.

It was rumored that the people were tied up in a car, dragged, and later shot with bullets. The people who were from our village said so; they had seen it. There were no other witnesses except for them. They had tied my father to a car and dragged him to Qizilqala, a neighboring village. It is relatively far; half an hour away. My father's body was found by the local people. They informed us that they had found two bodies and asked if they were ours. They told me to tell someone to come and take the bodies. My uncle went to the site and recognized the corpses, so he brought them back.

They were taken and thrown in a desert. The day after they were taken, my uncle started asking about them. Where are they? Are they detained? Are they alive? Later, some people informed us that there were two bodies in the desert. My uncle went there and yes, found their bodies. They had been shot in their chests and shoulders. Their faces were destroyed. There were many wounds and scratches on their bodies. My uncle's son’s forehead was badly split. The Taliban had beaten them a lot.

Upon hearing the news, everyone was unwell. My uncle fell unconscious for a few hours out of shock. My father's death changed our lives a lot. We faced many problems. We went through a lot of hardships. Life is really hard without a father. After my father, my uncle and my mother tried to keep the family together. My mother is a seamstress, she has been sewing ever since. The Taliban will do anything for their own benefit.

They don't have much to do with other ethnicities. Charbulok Village is resided by different ethnicities, it is mixed, but they used to harass Hazara people there a lot. They asked them for bread, money, weapons. They used to say to my father, "You are the leader of the Hazara people, you have many weapons. Give us weapons." How many weapons did they give if they had them? The Taliban would come again and search themselves. Because of having [and not having] weapons, they were beaten a lot.

Yes, the responsibility of financing the house was on my father's shoulders. My grandfather was there and my uncle was there. My grandfather was an elderly man. My father was responsible to support the household financially. We all lived in the same house together. Yes, my aunt was there too. Her and her husband lived together with us. The number of family members was big, about twenty, twenty-five people in total. Now there are 9 of us. After my father, my uncles and my mother now support the family. We still live in the same house in our village. That is our own house.

Oh, I was badly affected by the incident. I got a low spirit after it. This made me personally very weak. My mother... my mother suffered a lot, for a long time she was... For now, life is good. It is normal. It's been two years that I'm married and other family members were separated from us. My uncle and his family are now in Mazar Sharif. My cousins (my mother’s brothers) are here. They are almost at the same place as us; our houses are side-by-side.

Currently, there is no war in our village. Because our village is close to Chaharbulak District - just twenty minutes away - Taliban come to our village but don’t go further. Taliban often attack from this side and the government shoots them back. A month ago, Taliban took all other villages. Only our village was left. In our village, there was a government base, but they left after the other villages were captured. Taliban come periodically, once or twice a week, and the government does not.

Although the government is close (we can see them from the village), they don't fight as much as they did in the past and don’t come to our village. Taliban take tithes and zakat from local people. Tithes is about wheat. From ten bushels of wheat, they will take one bushel. From twenty bushels, they will take two bushels. Everyone gives. If someone doesn't give, he will be punished. Taliban announced that people must wait for them to come and count the bushels of their harvest, so that the Taliban can take some right away.

Yes, there are schools. Girls go to school. The school is in our village. The girls are up to 9th grade. They say their teachers should be women. Girls were not going to school for a while when Taliban came; the schools were off for a few days. After that, school resumed.

There were many people who left their jobs in government offices due to fear of the Taliban in this district. Even the cleaners left their duties due to fear. They didn't go to the office anymore. There were a few more soldiers from our own village, they were scared because there have been so many fights. Many people were killed in the war. Soldiers managed to take a letter from the Taliban, it was a guarantee that they would not be soldiers anymore, they could go and work in their village. Although they are no longer soldiers, they could not come to their village to see their families.

There were national police present to ensure the security of Qora Chin Village. In addition to police, there were militia (called ARBAKI: local armed men) supported by the government. Arbakis were harassing people and stealing people’s property. I didn't see it myself, but people of the village say so. They have many stories. According to one story, people stopped a man on his motorcycle one night. While their faces were covered, they took away all his valuables. The Taliban is back; Arbakis don't do those things. Arbakis are also completely gone, our area has been completely cleared. It is only the district center, which is under the control of the government.

The Taliban are from the neighbouring villages. Some are from our village too. Local Talib accompany the outsiders, they are together. No, they don't harass civilians.

Our wish is peace. Since the government is there in the center, they don't want war either. Their people and many of their soldiers were martyred, they were killed. Other police bases were taken by the Taliban.

If the government fights with the Taliban, it is good to clean up our areas. Make it peaceful and calm, so that everyone can do their jobs and go to school. Our biggest wish is that there will be peace and prosperity for our homeland. Many people in Chaharbulak are complaining about the insecurity. They are tired of it. One day, people should be able to take care of their business and land properly. My father was a good-natured person. Even now, everyone who comes praises my father a lot. No, my grandmother has passed away. We buried my father in a cemetery near the village, yes, in the village of Qorah Chin.

His Body was Swollen

Narrator: Azadeh Sadat Hussaini (Daughter)

Victim: Fatima

Time of the incident: 08 August 1999

Place of the accident: Mazar-e-Sharif, Pole Merab Type of accident: Hit by shrapnel

My name is Azadeh. My mother was married several years after my father. Now my ID card is in my stepfather's name. I am Azadeh Seyyed Salman in the ID and my real father's name is Seyed Shah Mohammad. His surname is Sadat Hosseini. The victim is my mother, her name is Fatima. Fatima Seyed Nasro, her name on her NID. Surname? No, she did not have a surname.

She was killed in Pole Merab by shrapnel while fleeing in the plain. They were running towards the Charkent which is above from here. The area is mountainous. We buried her in Pole Merab. When the Taliban came in the first round and took the whole city, they stayed for a few years. It was June or July. The wheat had grown. People were running away to the Charkent out of fear. Many were hiding in the wheat which saved their lives.

Shima: There was no wheat on our side. I remember a day when the weather was very hot, many people died when they fled to the mountains.

Azadeh: What exactly happened, what happened? I don't remember much. I was married. People said that she had so many splinters in her armpit that she never recovered. My mother was 55-years-old. When she came home, she could not speak. Later, she told the story that she was running away: "While I was riding a donkey, I suddenly got some sharp objects in my body. I didn't understand where they came from. My body only felt burning and blood flowed. If I wasn't riding that donkey, maybe the shrapnel wouldn't have hit me." The iron pieces had not gone deep. Some were pulled out by hand. But there was no doctor in the Charkent. The wounds became infected and after four months, she was brought to Mazar City. We took her to a doctor, but it didn't work at all. She was scared.

We live in Pole Merab. When the Taliban came, most of the people of the city fled. But we didn't go. My husband did not go. Everyone fled to Charkent. The city was empty. People stayed there for a while until the city calmed down. Some came early, those who had problems came early, those who didn't have problems stayed even for a year. When it was completely calm, everyone returned to their homes and lives.

Mentally, one feels a lot of pain and suffering. When my mother passed away, her house and life fell apart. My father left one way, my sister went her way, she was single, but she got married unintentionally. We don't know where she is anymore. My poor father was sick, often he came to my house. I had no place for him and I was pregnant. What did I do? I found a wife for him. Yes, now he has gone back to his house and has a wife. He has many children from this wife. Well, that's how it happened, no one of us... no one left of my family. I have a sister, she was in Iran. It's been a few years since she has come. She was also not there. It was really hard for me, I was completely alone...

Taliban took [my husband], took him from the market, took him away, we were completely disappointed. Because when Talib took anyone, he never came back. But God helped, of course he had to live for a while in this world. He came back. When he came, I couldn't recognize him at all. His body was totally black; he didn't have a single white spot because he was beaten. His body was swollen. He was sleeping in front of the window and everyone who saw him was afraid. I sat one night until the morning. I dressed his severely injured body. I gave him medicine. He was moaning and could not sleep. This situation continued for several days. But when the Taliban were defeated, our neighbours said that he should not sit there like that. If the Taliban came again and saw him in that state, they would question what he did to be beaten so badly.

After that, they took him to the village. For a month, I was with my daughter, the same daughter who is here. I was alone in the house with a woman who was a neighbour. We have seen many bad days, no expenses, nothing... To survive, I had to sell the houseware to buy food items. Nothing was left for us, nothing. My poor husband became disabled. He can't work. Heavy work hurts his back. Many of us have seen bad days. It was very difficult for me. My poor husband had never used a weapon. He was a laborer and ordinary citizen. The people who had guns, power, and money went away way before Taliban came. We the poor were trampled.

I don't remember anything. He came home late at night on the same day they took him. He used to say that he couldn't come home on my foot; he walked from the city to the house like a child using his hands and knees. His knees were swollen. He said that Taliban made me sleep, one of them stood on his feet, one of them put his foot on his back, and one of them put his foot on his neck. They hit him three times with a big cable with three locks tied at the end of it. They said to give them weapons. He said he doesn't have a weapon. They said to give them a weapon soon. Helpless, he is now disabled and can no longer work.

If he finds light work, he will do it, but he cannot do heavy work. He was beaten savagely. Taliban's takeover ended up very difficult for ordinary people. No one has good memories of that time, they all have bad memories.

When I regained consciousness, one was lying on the right side and the other on the left side.

Aziza Akbari was born in Sangcharak District of Sar-e Pul Province in Tebar Village. She grew up in Balkh. She studied education in Balkh Province and studies medicine in a private university. She is a twenty-year-old and is the cousin of the victims. She speaks very slowly and describes the incident.

Narrator: Aziza Akbari (Uncle's Daughter)

Victims: Ahmad Sohail and Marhaba

Date of the incident: November 2017

Location of the incident: Mirzavalang, Saiyad District, Sar-e Pol Province

In the winter of 2017, the Taliban attack Tabar Village - my village -which was the center of several other villages. If they took this village, they would be able to increase their control and possessions over other villages. So, they would attack this village a lot. When people got info about the Taliban’s attack on our village, people would run away to save their lives. They would take only one piece of clothing and save the family members. They would close their homes and run away to save their lives. The Taliban had spies among the people.

My uncle had three sons and two daughters. He prevented his eldest son from going to school and wanted him to be a Quran reciter. He had taken him to the reciters. One day while he was reciting, his hands were on his feet. His teacher (the Mullah) had slashed him with a stick. The sick hit on one of his eyes. He had poor eyesight for one or two weeks, and in the third week, he told his father that he couldn't see with his right eye. After that, his father wanted to take him to Pakistan for treatment. He was in Mazar-e-Sharif at the time, when Taliban suddenly invaded and occupied our area. He called his family to come out of the house and told his wife to take their children and go to a safe area.

The mother takes her two daughters and one of her sons, her other son left the area with his uncle. In the third day of the war, she heard that war had ended and everybody could go home. She had gone back with her two children; one daughter, Marhaba, and one of her sons, Sohail. Unfortunately, she was trapped in the middle of war, near their house; they had heard wrong information. At the time of the incident, I was in Mazar-e-Sharif with my family. We moved here after 2016 and they were there.

She has gone early in the morning at breakfast time. They were trapped until 11AM. My uncle's wife told us that we were in the warzone. A mortar or rocket directly hit my daughter and she was martyred on the spot. I was unconscious and when I regained my consciousness, the sun was shining on my head and the Taliban were walking here and there. They did not help us. Her son had all his intestines protruding from his abdomen. It was around 12:00 o'clock - lunch time, we got the news that two of her children were martyred.

My uncle was at our home and he was informed that he should go to the site as soon as possible. My uncle's wife said that when the incident happened, it was early in the morning as there were shadows. The sun passed over our heads; it was around 12 noon. I kept calling out that my daughter and I were okay, please help my son at least. First, the Taliban were careless. After a while, the Taliban put all his intestines in his stomach and took him to the mosque, then my younger uncle took Sohail to a hospital. His situation was so bad that even my uncle could not look at him. As said, his father was here in Mazar, he wanted to go to Pakistan. When he heard the news, he moved directly from Mazar to Sar-e Pol. He had brought his wife and son to the center of Sar-e Pol. His daughter had been killed immediately on the spot, she had been hit directly. Her mother was also severely wounded on her right leg and she was operated on several times. Sohail had been taken to Sar-e Pol, then to Sheberghan and to Mazar-e-Sharif. Sohail was operated on twice in Mazar-e-Sharif.

They only operated on his stomach and did not do anything with his legs. Doctors had operated first on his stomach and moved his intestines, then wanted to work on his legs. After a few days, the poor boy’s foot became microbial.

The boy was able to chat normally every day. He chatted in such a way that we thought that no accident had happened to him at all. But he would suddenly faint; he was getting weaker every day. Finally, Sohail was taken to Kabul. They reached out to all sides and authorities. We said we should at least save the boy’s life. With a lot of effort, they reached the emergency hospital in Kabul where it is very difficult to accept such patients.

He had been to the children's hospital in Kabul. I don't know exactly. He was operated on there too. He became weaker day-by-day and in the days close to his death, he could not even speak. When doctors opened the bandage of his legs, they faced a very bad condition. After the operation, they informed him that he had died. I don't know when Sohail Jan passed away.

He was alive for about 38 or 40 days. He had been taken from one hospital to another one. He had undergone various operations until finally he was martyred.

When Marhaba was brought to be buried, none of us saw her. It was said that her scarf was not even removed from her head, but when you touched her, all her bones were broken into pieces. Her single bones were completely torn apart under her skin.

Their mother said: "It was a mortar or a rocket. When it hit, the whole place was covered in dust. I didn't see anything, I lost my consciousness... When I regained consciousness, my daughter was on my left, my son was on my right. My daughter had been martyred and my son was saying, 'Mother!' No matter how much I told the Taliban to help me to at least save my son, they did not pay attention."

They were so cruel that they didn't even pay attention to the fact that this child was lying here, and they should take him a little under the shade. She said that there were people in the houses at that time, but they could not come out to save his life. There was a person in the neighbouring house who threw a plastic sheet out from under the door to cover the girl's body, but he could not get out himself.

There are local Taliban in the village among the people. When we called them many times and begged them, they took my child to the mosque and the Taliban who were from other areas did not help.

No, no, his mother didn't have a phone. At twelve o'clock, my uncle received a call from the village that his wife and children were martyred and he must come collect them. It was still 1 o'clock when the mother of my uncle’s wife arrived at the scene of the incident and took her daughter to the mosque, and from the mosque to the district clinic.

The Taliban brought the boy to the mosque and my younger uncle took the boy. The mother of my uncle’s wife, granddaughter of my uncle, together with my aunt's husband, went to the area. They put the body of the girl inside the roller. They had taken both the boy and the girl to Sar-e Pol.

My uncle’s wife herself does not talk about her pain, she was only worried about her children's health. When they took her to Sheberghan, her leg was operated on so she had to stay there, but her son was brought to Mazar-e-Sharif. It was November, and the village was calm and quiet. Then after 30 days, she was still worried about her son and was saying: My daughter was killed, my son should stay alive." 38 or 40 days later, when she heard that her son died too, she was mentally destroyed. She sat in her place and she could not get up for almost a year. Her eldest daughter was doing her work. Only God and herself know her pain and grief.

My uncle was a very brave man, he showed his bravery here in this very difficult time as he did not raise his noise. He was a tall man who, when you look him from his back, you'd think he was an eighty-year-old man, he was bent over like that. He became like that after the incident. Now the whole area is under the control of Taliban. The center of Sangcharak District is under the government.

Before the incident, my uncle was telling his wife not to go to the village. He called her every minute saying not go anywhere and to stay at her mother's house. She had gone out at once, but she came back soon. Someone had told her that it was good she came back. But she could not wait and told her, "Let me go and check my house once, war is ended." She moved towards the house without my uncle knowing it.

People walk there and don't use cars so much. It has been an hour walk. Her family knew, but my uncle and our family did not know that they had moved to that direction. The war was going on in the village. Some say that it was the government's rocket or mortar, and some say that Taliban deliberately hit this family. It is not clear whether the Taliban hit or the government's aerial missiles hit as the war was intense at that time.

I think it was the second war in the region, after that it was always sporadic fighting. Our village was very good in every way before that, it was populated, peaceful, and green. But when Taliban captured the area, the village was not like it was in the past. Taliban were oppressing/harassing people and shopkeepers. Taliban were taking tithe based on the goods available in the shop. They charged every shop 10-15000Afn. There are many good grape gardens in our village, which produce a lot of grape every year. Grape is the main source of income of people in our village. Taliban takes tithes of these local products.

In my opinion, the incident was as a result of difference among the people. Some take the government's side and some the Taliban's side. Taliban has put a lot of pressure on the people and propagated against the government. When you go to the village nowadays, people praise the Taliban a lot. People are not united. These differences caused the area to collapse at the hand of the Taliban.

First the Taliban killed all elders, influential people, those who could read and write, or those who could speak in public. They would kill them either at night, or on their way to somewhere, or in the evening when they came out of the mosque, or when coming out of Friday prayer. They were killed everywhere. Now when you go to the village, there is not a single person left who can write or speak. Yes, they were killed in the first stage. Then, Taliban occupied the village themselves.

It has been almost ten years since we came here (Mazar City) to study. We only went for three months in winter and one month in summer because of holidays.

Currently, the mother, eldest daughter, and one of her sons live in our village, in Tebar. My uncle has taken his eldest son to Turkey to treat his eye, which was hurt by a Mullah.

Our only wish is peace and stabilization in the area. Nothing is more important than peace. When it is calm, you are fully healthy. Can you believe that when there is a war between the government and the Taliban, people leave their homes and properties? They can’t go back to the area for a long time. You know how much they would be harmed? How much they suffer? We only want peace, we don't want anything else.

I don't know whether the government is paying attention to the perpetrators of this incident or not. In my opinion, the government should pay attention to these kinds of issues, otherwise everyone will become indifferent to the government. The government starts a war for a short time, doesn't try to capture the area, then stops the war and leaves the area. Their operations must be successful. If they can’t do it, they should not do it at all. What is the point of such operations? Only civilians are killed in the war. There are no other results of their unsuccessful operations.

In this case, it is better that Taliban take the area, so that people don’t die in the war. As a citizen, I want the government to bring peace throughout the country. How long we are displaced and go from one region to another to protect our lives. We just want peace.

Taliban are very cruel people. People come from the village and tell us stories of Taliban bad behavior and cruelty.

You should wear Burqa there. Villagers say that Taliban made a pipe out of animal skin and filled it up with coins. When something is against their will, they whip the person in public. They have dangerous appearance. We cannot go out into the street. Most grown-ups have left the village and there are small people living in the community. If we go out of the house, we have to put on Chadari. For Taliban it makes no difference if you are a 12 or 15-year-old girl, everyone has to put on Chadari.

They allowed school only until the sixth grade, girls can’t go to school above the sixth grade. The situation is not good at all, people have to fulfill all Taliban expenses. They enter a mosque and say that tonight they are guests. People are poor. Those who were not poor have become poor and left the village. This is what the Taliban do.

My uncle had five children, two of them were martyred and three remain. His eldest daughter is about 16-years-old. She was a school student. She is not allowed to study anymore. His son Nurul Amin is almost 14-years-old. If children are going to school, they must wear white clothes and caps. School teachers are from the same area. They teach the children. My uncle has another daughter, her name is Nabila. She is married. It has been 16 years that she has lived in her own independent house.

My uncle was the only breadwinner of his family. He had a three tired motorcycle and a house of their own. The mental condition of the mother has not improved yet. She remembers her children, how can her mental state improve? She is withered and unwell and can't walk. She hasn't been able to walk for almost two years now. How can she forget such a heartbreaking incident where two of her children were martyred? Her mental state is very bad for now.

Her elder daughter is also not in a good state. If you call her ten times, she will not respond. She saw her brother in that situation and she witnessed her younger sister where the incident took place. She is not normal, she was also affected mentally.

Marhaba Jan was buried in the same area where her grandmother lived, and martyr Ahmad Sohail was buried in his own area.

As far as my memories are concerned, I have many sweet memories from my childhood. Because we all lived in the same village. We all gathered in one place in the evening. Sohail was a funny kid, he used to annoy us a lot, but the girl was calm. Whenever I stayed at their house, in the morning when I was sleeping - I liked this habit a lot - in the morning after the prayer call, if it was winter, she would bring warm water and wake me up to do my prayer. She paid a lot of attention to prayer and recited Quran very well.

At that age, she was very kind. She always used to wake me up in the morning when I was in their house. This was a good memory and I liked it. It is a custom that they give all their belongings to somebody. Marhaba Jan made a knitted dress for herself. I have brought that for the museum.

When I regained consciousness, one was lying on the right side and the other on the left side.

Aziza Akbari was born in Sangcharak District of Sar-e Pul Province in Tebar Village. She grew up in Balkh. She studied education in Balkh Province and studies medicine in a private university. She is a twenty-year-old and is the cousin of the victims. She speaks very slowly and describes the incident.

Narrator: Aziza Akbari (Uncle's Daughter)

Victims: Ahmad Sohail and Marhaba

Date of the incident: November 2017

Location of the incident: Mirzavalang, Saiyad District, Sar-e Pol Province

In the winter of 2017, the Taliban attack Tabar Village - my village -which was the center of several other villages. If they took this village, they would be able to increase their control and possessions over other villages. So, they would attack this village a lot. When people got info about the Taliban’s attack on our village, people would run away to save their lives. They would take only one piece of clothing and save the family members. They would close their homes and run away to save their lives. The Taliban had spies among the people.

My uncle had three sons and two daughters. He prevented his eldest son from going to school and wanted him to be a Quran reciter. He had taken him to the reciters. One day while he was reciting, his hands were on his feet. His teacher (the Mullah) had slashed him with a stick. The sick hit on one of his eyes. He had poor eyesight for one or two weeks, and in the third week, he told his father that he couldn't see with his right eye. After that, his father wanted to take him to Pakistan for treatment. He was in Mazar-e-Sharif at the time, when Taliban suddenly invaded and occupied our area. He called his family to come out of the house and told his wife to take their children and go to a safe area.

The mother takes her two daughters and one of her sons, her other son left the area with his uncle. In the third day of the war, she heard that war had ended and everybody could go home. She had gone back with her two children; one daughter, Marhaba, and one of her sons, Sohail. Unfortunately, she was trapped in the middle of war, near their house; they had heard wrong information. At the time of the incident, I was in Mazar-e-Sharif with my family. We moved here after 2016 and they were there.

She has gone early in the morning at breakfast time. They were trapped until 11AM. My uncle's wife told us that we were in the warzone. A mortar or rocket directly hit my daughter and she was martyred on the spot. I was unconscious and when I regained my consciousness, the sun was shining on my head and the Taliban were walking here and there. They did not help us. Her son had all his intestines protruding from his abdomen. It was around 12:00 o'clock - lunch time, we got the news that two of her children were martyred.

My uncle was at our home and he was informed that he should go to the site as soon as possible. My uncle's wife said that when the incident happened, it was early in the morning as there were shadows. The sun passed over our heads; it was around 12 noon. I kept calling out that my daughter and I were okay, please help my son at least. First, the Taliban were careless. After a while, the Taliban put all his intestines in his stomach and took him to the mosque, then my younger uncle took Sohail to a hospital. His situation was so bad that even my uncle could not look at him. As said, his father was here in Mazar, he wanted to go to Pakistan. When he heard the news, he moved directly from Mazar to Sar-e Pol. He had brought his wife and son to the center of Sar-e Pol. His daughter had been killed immediately on the spot, she had been hit directly. Her mother was also severely wounded on her right leg and she was operated on several times. Sohail had been taken to Sar-e Pol, then to Sheberghan and to Mazar-e-Sharif. Sohail was operated on twice in Mazar-e-Sharif.

They only operated on his stomach and did not do anything with his legs. Doctors had operated first on his stomach and moved his intestines, then wanted to work on his legs. After a few days, the poor boy’s foot became microbial.

The boy was able to chat normally every day. He chatted in such a way that we thought that no accident had happened to him at all. But he would suddenly faint; he was getting weaker every day. Finally, Sohail was taken to Kabul. They reached out to all sides and authorities. We said we should at least save the boy’s life. With a lot of effort, they reached the emergency hospital in Kabul where it is very difficult to accept such patients.

He had been to the children's hospital in Kabul. I don't know exactly. He was operated on there too. He became weaker day-by-day and in the days close to his death, he could not even speak. When doctors opened the bandage of his legs, they faced a very bad condition. After the operation, they informed him that he had died. I don't know when Sohail Jan passed away.

He was alive for about 38 or 40 days. He had been taken from one hospital to another one. He had undergone various operations until finally he was martyred.

When Marhaba was brought to be buried, none of us saw her. It was said that her scarf was not even removed from her head, but when you touched her, all her bones were broken into pieces. Her single bones were completely torn apart under her skin.

Their mother said: "It was a mortar or a rocket. When it hit, the whole place was covered in dust. I didn't see anything, I lost my consciousness... When I regained consciousness, my daughter was on my left, my son was on my right. My daughter had been martyred and my son was saying, 'Mother!' No matter how much I told the Taliban to help me to at least save my son, they did not pay attention."

They were so cruel that they didn't even pay attention to the fact that this child was lying here, and they should take him a little under the shade. She said that there were people in the houses at that time, but they could not come out to save his life. There was a person in the neighbouring house who threw a plastic sheet out from under the door to cover the girl's body, but he could not get out himself.

There are local Taliban in the village among the people. When we called them many times and begged them, they took my child to the mosque and the Taliban who were from other areas did not help.

No, no, his mother didn't have a phone. At twelve o'clock, my uncle received a call from the village that his wife and children were martyred and he must come collect them. It was still 1 o'clock when the mother of my uncle’s wife arrived at the scene of the incident and took her daughter to the mosque, and from the mosque to the district clinic.

The Taliban brought the boy to the mosque and my younger uncle took the boy. The mother of my uncle’s wife, granddaughter of my uncle, together with my aunt's husband, went to the area. They put the body of the girl inside the roller. They had taken both the boy and the girl to Sar-e Pol.

My uncle’s wife herself does not talk about her pain, she was only worried about her children's health. When they took her to Sheberghan, her leg was operated on so she had to stay there, but her son was brought to Mazar-e-Sharif. It was November, and the village was calm and quiet. Then after 30 days, she was still worried about her son and was saying: My daughter was killed, my son should stay alive." 38 or 40 days later, when she heard that her son died too, she was mentally destroyed. She sat in her place and she could not get up for almost a year. Her eldest daughter was doing her work. Only God and herself know her pain and grief.

My uncle was a very brave man, he showed his bravery here in this very difficult time as he did not raise his noise. He was a tall man who, when you look him from his back, you'd think he was an eighty-year-old man, he was bent over like that. He became like that after the incident. Now the whole area is under the control of Taliban. The center of Sangcharak District is under the government.

Before the incident, my uncle was telling his wife not to go to the village. He called her every minute saying not go anywhere and to stay at her mother's house. She had gone out at once, but she came back soon. Someone had told her that it was good she came back. But she could not wait and told her, "Let me go and check my house once, war is ended." She moved towards the house without my uncle knowing it.

People walk there and don't use cars so much. It has been an hour walk. Her family knew, but my uncle and our family did not know that they had moved to that direction. The war was going on in the village. Some say that it was the government's rocket or mortar, and some say that Taliban deliberately hit this family. It is not clear whether the Taliban hit or the government's aerial missiles hit as the war was intense at that time.

I think it was the second war in the region, after that it was always sporadic fighting. Our village was very good in every way before that, it was populated, peaceful, and green. But when Taliban captured the area, the village was not like it was in the past. Taliban were oppressing/harassing people and shopkeepers. Taliban were taking tithe based on the goods available in the shop. They charged every shop 10-15000Afn. There are many good grape gardens in our village, which produce a lot of grape every year. Grape is the main source of income of people in our village. Taliban takes tithes of these local products.

In my opinion, the incident was as a result of difference among the people. Some take the government's side and some the Taliban's side. Taliban has put a lot of pressure on the people and propagated against the government. When you go to the village nowadays, people praise the Taliban a lot. People are not united. These differences caused the area to collapse at the hand of the Taliban.

First the Taliban killed all elders, influential people, those who could read and write, or those who could speak in public. They would kill them either at night, or on their way to somewhere, or in the evening when they came out of the mosque, or when coming out of Friday prayer. They were killed everywhere. Now when you go to the village, there is not a single person left who can write or speak. Yes, they were killed in the first stage. Then, Taliban occupied the village themselves.

It has been almost ten years since we came here (Mazar City) to study. We only went for three months in winter and one month in summer because of holidays.

Currently, the mother, eldest daughter, and one of her sons live in our village, in Tebar. My uncle has taken his eldest son to Turkey to treat his eye, which was hurt by a Mullah.

Our only wish is peace and stabilization in the area. Nothing is more important than peace. When it is calm, you are fully healthy. Can you believe that when there is a war between the government and the Taliban, people leave their homes and properties? They can’t go back to the area for a long time. You know how much they would be harmed? How much they suffer? We only want peace, we don't want anything else.

I don't know whether the government is paying attention to the perpetrators of this incident or not. In my opinion, the government should pay attention to these kinds of issues, otherwise everyone will become indifferent to the government. The government starts a war for a short time, doesn't try to capture the area, then stops the war and leaves the area. Their operations must be successful. If they can’t do it, they should not do it at all. What is the point of such operations? Only civilians are killed in the war. There are no other results of their unsuccessful operations.

In this case, it is better that Taliban take the area, so that people don’t die in the war. As a citizen, I want the government to bring peace throughout the country. How long we are displaced and go from one region to another to protect our lives. We just want peace.

Taliban are very cruel people. People come from the village and tell us stories of Taliban bad behavior and cruelty.

You should wear Burqa there. Villagers say that Taliban made a pipe out of animal skin and filled it up with coins. When something is against their will, they whip the person in public. They have dangerous appearance. We cannot go out into the street. Most grown-ups have left the village and there are small people living in the community. If we go out of the house, we have to put on Chadari. For Taliban it makes no difference if you are a 12 or 15-year-old girl, everyone has to put on Chadari.

They allowed school only until the sixth grade, girls can’t go to school above the sixth grade. The situation is not good at all, people have to fulfill all Taliban expenses. They enter a mosque and say that tonight they are guests. People are poor. Those who were not poor have become poor and left the village. This is what the Taliban do.

My uncle had five children, two of them were martyred and three remain. His eldest daughter is about 16-years-old. She was a school student. She is not allowed to study anymore. His son Nurul Amin is almost 14-years-old. If children are going to school, they must wear white clothes and caps. School teachers are from the same area. They teach the children. My uncle has another daughter, her name is Nabila. She is married. It has been 16 years that she has lived in her own independent house.

My uncle was the only breadwinner of his family. He had a three tired motorcycle and a house of their own. The mental condition of the mother has not improved yet. She remembers her children, how can her mental state improve? She is withered and unwell and can't walk. She hasn't been able to walk for almost two years now. How can she forget such a heartbreaking incident where two of her children were martyred? Her mental state is very bad for now.

Her elder daughter is also not in a good state. If you call her ten times, she will not respond. She saw her brother in that situation and she witnessed her younger sister where the incident took place. She is not normal, she was also affected mentally.

Marhaba Jan was buried in the same area where her grandmother lived, and martyr Ahmad Sohail was buried in his own area.

As far as my memories are concerned, I have many sweet memories from my childhood. Because we all lived in the same village. We all gathered in one place in the evening. Sohail was a funny kid, he used to annoy us a lot, but the girl was calm. Whenever I stayed at their house, in the morning when I was sleeping - I liked this habit a lot - in the morning after the prayer call, if it was winter, she would bring warm water and wake me up to do my prayer. She paid a lot of attention to prayer and recited Quran very well.

At that age, she was very kind. She always used to wake me up in the morning when I was in their house. This was a good memory and I liked it. It is a custom that they give all their belongings to somebody. Marhaba Jan made a knitted dress for herself. I have brought that for the museum.

Mother's Breadwinner Went

Note: He has lost everything. He says, "My name is Zabihullah, son of Abdullah, a resident of 8th District, Tang Shah Shahid 1st street. Anyone who comes to the first road should ask: where is the place a suicide attack has happened? Where is Zabihullah’s house?"

Zabihullah is a disabled person who has no hands and no eyes. “I have neither hands nor eyes, and my legs are secured with skewers.” These are the same phrases that Zabijullah expresses in his introduction, and shows the summary and clear results of the war to everyone. No more explanation is needed about him. What he says is the truth that the war has put on him and his family.

The story starts from the point where we ask him for permission to film and take pictures of the interview. He gives permission and tells his story in a strange, constant, and current dialogue that goes on always between all people. A conversation between him, his sister (Zhila Abdali), and his wife (Adela), who are sitting together in the interview session, continues and forms the meaningful thread of the narrative. In addition to how Faisal and Ahmadullah were victimized, the life of the narrator is also mentioned and said. If we pay a little attention, the corner of the life of five people is expressed in a dialogue that is sometimes accompanied by anger and insults.

Zabihullah's physical condition is such that he cannot move without his wife and sister. These two women are also narrators who have their own account of the incident. Although a large part of the speech is from Zabihullah, they also speak their words, each of them recorded in their own place. We have not changed the structure of the narration, and we have recorded it in the order in which they spoke.

Narrator: Dagarwal Zabihullah

Victims: Faisal and Ahmadullah

Time of the incident: 29 March 2015

Place of the incident: Kabul City, Shah Shahid

I say, take a hundred photos, scare someone from taking a photo who really is scared of it. Today, you brothers who are working for human rights, who defend human rights firmly and stubbornly in our homeland - today you come to talk to us. You seek info about the martyrs, you interview their heirs. I thank you on behalf of the families of the martyrs of Shah Shaheed and district eight, district nine, and district ten of Kabul City. I am extremely grateful of human rights activists. I am especially happy for the branches that have opened offices in every corner of the city, making them ready to reach the problems of all districts and people of Afghanistan regarding human rights. Your efforts are appreciated.

We are the family of two martyrs (actually four martyrs; two martyrs belong to the distant past), the two school students who were killed on 29 March 2015 as a result of a suicide attack in district 8 in front of Abdul Ghafoor Nadim pharmacy. One of them was Faisal, my son, a ninth-grade student at Sirat private school. The second one was Ahmadullah, my niece, whose mother is here with us. Both of them were in the same school.

They used to go to private school at 6 in the morning and come back at one o'clock. Then they would go to the pharmacy. There, they would do their homework and work until eight in the evening. They had a 2.5 to 3000 AFN salary per month. They were killed on 29 March 2015, and the funeral ceremony was held on the 30th March 2015, at Eidgah Mosque. Then they were buried in their eternal home.

Today, when we see people shouting about democracy, they are talking about human rights. We are not pessimistic about both; we are half pessimistic. What kind of human right is this? Today, when one commits theft, looting, murder, and fights against the government, and human rights activists stand against the government and say don't torture or execute this person, don't kill them, human rights say this? Today, as a result of a suicide attack on a Member of Parliament (MP), our children were killed. How come human rights organization and activist do not investigate and ask about them? We remember the Siyasang incident; how many people were killed, how many people lost their lives. They were our brothers and they are no longer with us. We are the educated people of Afghanistan, we are matured Afghans: Tajiks, Turkmen, Uzbeks... We live under the flag of Afghanistan and are subject to one human right, not ten human rights. America has its own human rights, England has its own, Canada... Well, four continents of the world have human rights, but we only know the human rights that work on a global level. Today, we request that the families of the martyrs, those who have no home, no place, and no life, not only my children, all victims, I say, do not give me anything. Human rights organization and activists should have a consideration in this regard. Let the leaders understand that martyrs have no age, brother!

A ten-years-old, twelve-years-old martyr is the breadwinner of his family. What does the Martyrs and Disabled Ministry say? "A boy should be 18-years-old, a girl should be 16-years-old", while this is the age of marriage in the Afghan Civil law and in the Afghan Constitution, it is not the age of martyrdom?! You might have seen, among those who are killed, most of them are young children. They work as car washers, newspaper sellers, plastic collectors, or those kids who help the taxi drivers calling for passengers, calling the routes so that people know and get on board; they are breadwinners. These are the innocent and pure children who are killed by the cruel. They are killed by those who do not fear God, the foreign enemies of Afghanistan, the hundred-year-old enemies of Afghanistan; they have no mercy in Afghanistan and they are killing our people. They kill our children, kill our daughters, kill our fathers and mothers... it even destroys our journalist brothers and human rights activists. Why are human rights organizations being silent today? For the sake of God, the head of the Afghan Human Rights Commission should stand up, warn, threaten, and sit with the Secretary of the United Nations, saying that they are the head of human rights in Afghanistan and telling of the situation in the country.

Today, I speak on behalf of all the bereaved people of Afghanistan, whether it is my Tajik brother, my Uzbek brother, or my Turkmen brother; we are all Afghans. Right now, in this gathering, we are all members of the same family, we are around the same table. We request the same from human rights organizations to pay a bit of attention to this country. For what oppression and tyranny has been imposed on the people of Afghanistan, this human rights organization should send a curse on them. It should say that they are tyrant, don't fear God, and question why they kill children and their brothers. Today, human right organizations advocate for the rights of a thief, the rights of a murderer. A Muslim girl was stoned to death in Shahe Du Shamshera. Women are killed everywhere in the country.

We demand human rights organizations and activists do not defend the rights of reactionary, tyrannical, treacherous, and traitorous people. For the sake of God, defend the tribes, take our voices to the head of human rights organizations. Say that (swear on what you believe in), Afghan people demand that. Please, keep the war away from our homeland. The head of human rights should discuss this with the elders, with the leaders of America, England, France, with the Secretary General of the United Nations, the President of Pakistan, and the President of Afghanistan. How long will war and killing continue in Afghanistan? How long will mothers suffer? Let the tears dry in their eyes.

The breadwinner of the family has been killed. He had a 6000 AFN income. Their children's funeral costed 300,000 AFN, where can they get this from? Pay attention to these human rights today. We demand human rights organizations to pay attention towards of Afghanistan. We are neither happy with the government nor with human rights if this is not prevented.

This was the pain in my heart that I said on behalf of the people of Afghanistan, on behalf of the martyrs of Shah Shaheed, the martyrs of District Six and District Seven. Today, I brought their voice to you through the media, through the news, through the computer... we request the Secretary General of the United Nations; we have the same request to punish our leaders and elders of Afghanistan! Tell them, you are oppressors. Afghan children are being killed today, and you call the enemy a friend? An enemy never becomes a friend. We never befriend our enemy and never accept this friendship.

This is what we request you to convey to the head of human rights of the whole world. We have a human rights commission chief, there are human rights offices in every province, in every country, but we request you convey the same to the human rights chiefs of the four continents of the world. Come today to defend these human rights.

Don’t defend from the rights of the thief, murderer.... What young people have we not lost? See his picture there (the victim’s picture was on the wall). Just a young child, had just got a mustache, 9th grade of school. I put him to the eternal grave. I don't have anything else to say. Again, I request you and your central office, which serves in Afghanistan, to convey my message to higher levels through your organization. I wish killing and war doesn’t continue in Afghanistan. Afghanistan should not become like Iraq and Syria. We have the same request for the human rights community to make an effort to stay away from the murderers and to try to bring peace and tranquility to the country. If there is a question, I am ready to answer. I shared my pain which was not mine alone; it was from all over Afghanistan.

- Zhila: We also demand the same from human rights...

- Zabihullah: Now listen, Hamid Jan.

- Zhila: ...to stop murder, fratricide, infanticide of mothers. I had a child at the time, only one child. My guardian was my child, he was my hope. I don't have any relatives anymore.

- Zabihullah: Her husband too...

- Zhila: It has been ten years since my husband left me. He disappeared from Kandahar. I am a teacher and I live only with a small income. I have no house, no place, no life. I wonder what to do with my life. I completed the twelfth grade of school and three years in a faculty… They take me as nothing, they say I am nothing.

- Zabihullah: It was not completed well.

- Zhila: Yes, it was not complete. I got married and went to Kandahar while it was war in there. After, I became a teacher. I am a literacy teacher in the 16th district. I receive seven thousand AFN per month as salary. I can’t do nothing with that salary. I swear, my brother is a witness that my salary dose not suffice... A week ago, they cut off my electricity because I couldn't pay. There are many expenses, like food and water, electricity, school… I request human rights organizations stop these bad things. Why did those who have enemies come to the area? It was just his personal issue. Yet, if you had a meeting, why didn't you close the pharmacy and all the shops?

- Adela: They should have informed police in the area.

- Zhila: ...the oppressed and the poor would not have been killed, my thirteen-year-old child, at 7th grade, was martyred. Now I am left with two daughters who are in 5th grade. What will happen to my life? I am worried about this life every day. I am thinking about how my daughters will be. I have a heart problem; the walls of my heart are enlarged. My brothers are taking care of me. I can’t treat myself with my salary, my dear brother.

- Zabihullah's wife: There are some Members of Parliament (MPs) in Shah Shaheed, they must...

- Zhila: These MPs should leave the area.

- Zabihullah: No, the MPs have their house, they should live in their houses.

- Zhila Why?

- Zabihullah: But they should hold their meetings somewhere else.

- Adela: Should be coordinated with police in the area.

- Zabihullah: They are having this meeting again...

- Adela: Even if they hold their meeting secretly, the suicide bombers will come to them if they get news.

Zhila: Well, personally, I am not happy with this government. Because I voted for Ashraf Ghani myself, I regret that my child was killed for this vile person. Let my voice reach them, no matter if they like it or not. I am not afraid, even if I would be executed.

- Zabihullah: I served in the government for almost 28 years. In the course of my service, my hand was cut off. In the service of the Holy Askari, this leg of mine was hit by a bullet. You see, my legs are supported with skewers. This is clear, and after that I worked hard. I raised myself from the second rank of Tharni to the rank of Samunvali. In the last five years, my eyes became blind, my nerves dried up, I got heart disease, I got pollen, my nervous pressure increased, and my diabetes became severe. It's been five years since I lost my eyes during this Karzai government.

Five years ago, I worked as the commander of the 101 Asmai Zone of Kabul. I lost my eyes and after that I was hospitalized. My heart was not treated, and then I went to Pakistan. I lost my eyes while I was in the police hospital and after being treated for a while, since I was not able to see, I faced serious problems in my daily life. For example, going to the toilet. I am sorry.

They forced me to retire, I was paid 40,000 Afghanis a year, while I was included in the reform process and had succeeded it. My salary was 20 thousand Afghanis per month. They give only two months of my salary for one year, which they give now. I have no breadwinner anymore; my child was the only breadwinner. I have another son who has finished 12th grade. He is jobless. I am afraid of his future. What if he became addicted to something? What if he...

This is my wife who works as a teacher in one of the schools in Kabul. My daughter is studying in Darul Uloom Bibi Ayesha Siddiqa and my second daughter is in the 10th grade of school, my third daughter is in the 6th grade of the school. I don't have any land, house or apartment in my name, or in the name of my wife or children.

When I became disabled, no one supported us. While there were billions of monies and many houses, ah, in came the Martyrs and Disabled Ministry. They distributed houses and other supports to their friends, but we were not included.

- Zhila: We didn't see anything.

- Zabihullah: They gave those houses to the thieves. There is a person who has received six flats so far. Human rights organizations should consider this thing, the human rights of those countries that support Afghan disables through the Ministry of Disables and Martyrs. They support that disabled families live peacefully like in other developed countries of the world.

- Zhila: When we go, they don’t answer us.

- Zabihullah: You may have heard about Mr. Sarwari. He received lands for 200 houses, which were divided among ten people of his own. They have committees, they take money, lands, and flats.

- Zhila: Yes, I wrote a petition on behalf of my husband. They said to bring my husband's ID card. They didn't register anything, no.

- Zhila: He looked at me and said: get out. He said: It is fake. I said: is it fake?... I went to my brother's house and told him. My brother said: Go sister, you have honor and dignity...

- Zabihullah: This is for the sake of the children...

- [Zabihullah] I went because of my martyred child. I went to Aziz Rasa, because of him and my children.

- Zhila: I still have his number, his card.

- Zabihullah: We went there to register our petition. He said: You can go for now and come after Eid al-Adha. After Eid al-Adha, we visited him, and he said: your child was under 18 years old. Yes, he was under eighteen and was a good breadwinner for us. If he had become 18 years and beyond, he would not work at the pharmacy, wash cars, or sell newspapers.

- Zhila: Yes, wash the car.

- Zabihullah: Or stand in the square, calling out for passengers to get on the car of a certain route. For example: Kote Sangi, twenty rupees only, Kote Sangiiii Kote Sangiii. These are the children who became breadwinners. The grown-ups, who made themselves millionaires in this 13 year... Mr. Karzai started from zero. Half of Afghanistan was looted by Mujahidin. Not the real Mujahidin, I do not insult the real Mujahidin. Those who joined the real Mujahid later for their personal interests and picked up arms and looted, did not act as real Mujahidin. I have never seen the true Mujahid do bad things. I have a due respect to real Mujahid, and I am proud of them for doing Jihad. Mujahidin who gathered from the city of Kabul, from alleys and markets, stole half. Talib stole other half, but Karzai started from scratch and prepared the government.

Everybody has armored cars and armored land cruisers. The ministries, the water supply system, the canalization, and the electricity has been fixed and today the National Unity Government is ruling. Now the Government of National Unity, may God destroy the intention of those who work as civil servant... in which constitution of Afghanistan is it stated, in which law of human rights, in which civil law of Afghanistan is it stated that: the age of the martyr(boy) should be eighteen; and sixteen for girls if they are killed? We demand human rights organizations to make these things clear to the leaders. Why are ministers are doing this?

If I have 10,000 AFN, I would give it to the martyrs and the disabled. I will not see the age, neither eighteen nor seventeen. Indeed if I have ten thousand rupees.

To see my real life, I will take you to my house right now. It has been cold in the winter; we have no firewood in the house. I have three children. We have no firewood or heating, what else I should tell you from my pain? What can I do with seven thousand (my wife's salary)? The government only gives me forty thousand a year. Forty thousand! While I have spent three hundred thousand in the death ceremony of our children...

-Adela: Niece...

- Zabihullah: This amount was consumed for my niece, her mother borrowed it... We couldn't do it alone and we were six families.

Zhila: Once I pleaded with Golpacha [the MP who was attacked] that I am in debt. He is a religious person. I said, "Brother! My children were killed because of you, yet you didn't come to our house to share sorrow with us... I was like your sister... It's okay, but please support me with something now; my debtor has put me under pressure." I called him a couple of times. On the third day, he calls shamelessly on the phone, "Hey crazy! Don't call again! If you call, I'll come right now and kill you. Also, if your brother says something, we will arrest your brother and put him in prison."

- Zabihullah: This is an MP, he works in the House of the People. Please let the head of the Parliament hear that a parliamentarian...

- Zhila: ... calls me ... crazy woman. It's crazy woman that you have this power and...

- Zabihullah: Curse on you. First myself, my wife, my sisters, my brother, and my brother's wife voted for you, and made you an MP because we know you and you are our neighbour. But you threaten my sister that you will assassinate her and put her brother in prison. While you are the killer of our children, you are cause for the martyrdom of our children Golpacha Majidi!

- Zhila: Golpacha is the real killer... it was his personal matter...

- Zabihullah: He had not informed the police in the area, had not informed the intelligence, under the name of bodyguard. He receives the salary and living of twenty people from the government. He did not even take his own security measures and due to that, our children are not alive today. A suicide bomber will not come for me, who am I? I am neither minster nor an MP.

- Zhila: A thief will not enter our alley if it is open from evening to morning.

- Zabihullah: I have a good property. Let him see the house, you also come to see how I live. I am living in a heritage. My sister's electricity is cut off, my other sister's electricity is also cut off, mine was also cut off, I reconnected it.

-Zhila: My children tease me that I am living in my father's house.

-Zabihullah: But this is our father’s legacy, everyone has the right. We find some money. I have nothing else. Although I had worked with the government, I was not a traitor and I am not afraid.

Dear Hamid, the representative of human rights, who you were assigned by the head of human rights of Afghanistan to talk to us, listen to us. So these were the pains of our family, I shared them to you. These were our secrets and needs, this was my personal secret and need. And it was about martyrs; this is about our personal lives as we told you. If there is any other question, I am ready.

My dear son, Shahid Ahmadullah, was martyred in a suicide attack on March 29, 2015, at six o'clock in the evening. He was working in a pharmacy near our place called Abdul Ghafur Nadim Pharmacy. I had enrolled him in Sirat school with difficulty. I brought them up with poverty and hardship and I said to myself that if I have suffered all that poverty and misery, tomorrow my son will try hard and all the hardships I had will give results. But that was not God's will.

A Shrapnel Caused His Death

This story was recorded on April 29, 2019 in the local office of the AIHRC in Herat Province. Ms Dasta-Gul describes the story of grief, love, and the years after the loss of her husband with patience and in detail.

Narrator: Dasta-Gul (victim’s wife)

Victim’s name: Qurban (30 yrs)

Date of Accident: Summer of 1984, 11:00 oclock

Place of Accident: Kareezkhoni Village, Rubat Sangi District, Herat Province

Type of accident: bomb shrapnel (bombed by Soviet aircrafts)

My name is Dasta-Gul and Qurban was my husband. It has been 35 years since my home was wrecked. He was thirty-years-old and I was twenty-years-old in 1989. It was July, yes, it was the proper time of the year for farming. The Soviets killed him; their bomb killed him. The Soviet aircraft killed him. He was killed in Kareezkhoni Village, part of Rubat Sangi District. It was eleven in the morning. We were married for seven years; he was killed in the eighth year. We had two children, one aged 2 and the other a 9-month-old breastfeeding infant. Yes, two children. We had two children and both are sons. We were married for just 7 years.

He was a farmer and used to raise livestock. He harvested wheat and oats. Agriculture was his only profession. He had gone over to harvest wheat from the fields when an aircraft dropped a bomb. He died among the wheat crops. A lot of people, around nine or ten, were killed. In that village, around a hundred or more people were killed. The tanks and aircraft killed all of them in that village. They were all working in their fields. Those villagers who were inside their houses were also bombarded and got buried under the rubble, poor souls. Our house was far [from the houses which were bombed].

A member of my family informed us that a person has been killed in the fields, and asked us to collect the corpse [and nine other martyrs] and take them to the mosque. Yes, I saw him. The shrapnel had entered the back of his head and exited from his abdomen. That one shrapnel caused his death. I did not have anything after my husband’s death. Out of destitution, I turned to carpet weaving. Until my children turned ten years old, I was busy weaving day and night. No one helped me. No one cared for us. They did not care that my orphaned children were hungry and alone with me, who owned nothing.

Yes, the fields on which my husband grew wheat belonged to us. They [Qurban’s family] gave a plot of land to my orphaned children. My children had uncles, a grandmother, and aunts. I asked them to give only two acres of the land on which my husband worked to my boys. I worked hard by myself. I wove carpets, and went from one to the other to make ends meet. I did not have any other assistance.

I sent my boys to school. After they finished school, we came to Herat City for them to go to university. Ah, after my eldest son did not learn in university, I sent him to Iran as a laborer. My eldest son is named Nur-Ul Deen, and the youngest is named Saif-Ul Deen. They went to Iran and worked hard. They also got married from their hard work. They did not have sisters who could be married off and from their marriage’s gifts, I could have taken wives for my sons and settled them down. My poor boys worked hard and built lives for themselves. I used to live with my in-laws but they did not like me. They would always argue and tell me to give up my sons and re-marry. I told them I will not marry and even if it kills me, I will not give up my children. What can a second marriage give me when I did not gain anything from my first marriage? The marriage life which I had was one where my husband never once told me what to do or not do. God took him from me, his death came soon.

During the seven years of us being married, he never once told me to do or not to do this or that. That is because I was content with him, and until today, I have stayed in his memory and for his sons. When you are content with your spouse, even after they are gone, your heart does not allow you to think of someone else or to leave their children. My brother-in-law would bring a bag of wheat and rice. My parents also helped and asked me to bring my children to live with them. My conscious could not accept this so I worked and wove rugs by myself. I never folded the carpet loom close; it was always open as I constantly worked on weaving rugs. It was like whenever I finished one rug, I would start another the very next day. What else could I have done, I was hungry and poor, I had no other choice. I had to do it in order to make ends meet and survive absolute poverty because I had no other source of income. The situation at that time was not good, but I do not know why they bombed our village. However, the [neighbouring] village was bombed heavily. They bombed that village a lot. My husband was also killed there but I do not understand exactly the reason why they bombed. It has been thirty years since and my mind has gotten weak as well as my memory and I no longer remember why they killed our village’s people.

When my home was ruined after my husband’s death, I was twenty-years-old. I was married off at the age of fourteen. I was married for 7 years when my husband died. It has been whether eighteen or twenty years, what is the sum of seven years and fourteen years? It has been twenty years, twenty. My husband was from outside my family, I was happy with him that is why I have remained unmarried until this day in his memory. I loved him, do you understand? When you love a person, even if there are hundreds of others around you, your feelings for them will not change. This is why I did not accept anything else after him. By God, he did not have anything. My carpet was the earth underneath and my roof was the sky. I just loved him and I loved my sons. He had a good personality and a muscular figure. He was very lucky meaning when he was in a group gathering, he could make everyone laugh till tears would come out of their eyes due to his good humor and manners. But what can I do now that God has taken him from me?

When my [eldest] son was in Iran, he studied till eleventh grade and after he came back to Afghanistan, he finished his last year of high school. However, I do not know what major he studied at university. I did not ask, my dear, I did not ask him. He studies half of the day and the other half he works as a watchman for a school. He sweeps classroom floors and arranges the desks and chairs. He also has the keys to the school, as if he is the watchman of the elementary school. He gets five or six thousand Afghanis per month. My second son is also married. Thankfully, he is also married. I have three grandchildren from one son, and four from the other. I live with the two of my daughters-in-law in Wahdat Village, in the town of Abulwaleed which is part of the Injeel District of Herat Province. I am satisfied with my sons, thankfully. My sons have never ill-treated me. They say ‘dear mother’ at the beginning of their sentence and one at the end of their sentence. Their wives are not from our family so naturally, they might act irritated or say something to me, but when my sons treat me well, I have nothing to do with my daughters-in-law because my sons are important to me. Yes, my sons have a lot of respect for me; they respect me a lot. When I get sick, they borrow money for my medications and doctor’s visits so that I get treated. They borrow money from others so that their mother can get better. I have such dear sons and my heart is happy from them. One of my grandchildren passed last year and that broke my heart. He was only eleven-years-old. They said he had an incurable illness. They said he had cancer and his lungs had been destroyed. We took him to Kabul and brought his body back to Herat. He was only eleven-years-old and in fourth grade.

I am happy with my sons, my dear. My sons also love me a lot. I pleaded to God that my sons do not have a father, what would become of them? They could become addicts and junkies; they could become gamblers. However, thank God, they grew up to become really modest and decent men. My children are virtuous and chaste; they do not have any addictions, thankfully. My boys do not have any faults, they are clean and virtuous. I am thankful to God that I have good sons, they are decent people. I shall share the ache of my heart with the women of Afghanistan. I shall say how much I suffered and went through to raise my boys. I pray to God that my efforts do not go in vain and make my decent sons even more decent to people. And if they are friends, make them even better friends to others. I only want to say that. Some women ask me how my sons are and I respond that thank God, my life is completely good. I am not unhappy with my sons or their wives. Thank God, they are very nice. I have a very good life. My relatives ask how I manage with my sons and I tell them that my life, in general, is good and that I am completely content with my sons. They turned out to be decent people, they are humane. They do not bother people. On their university campus, there are around two thousand girls and boys studying, but they do not bother them or the girls there. They are such strong-willed sons.

Yes, I love my sons a lot, how can I not love them? For them, I have gotten beaten, verbally abused, and even been charmed with a talisman so I could leave my boys. They cast a magic charm on me so I would leave my sons and go back to my father’s house. By God that I am telling the truth, my dear. I went to a Hajji and he told me that I have been charmed to leave my sons and re-marry. By God, they did everything they could to me so I would leave my sons but God made my love for them so strong that nothing could separate us.

My daughters-in-law are unemployed. When we were in the village, they used to weave carpet a bit but after coming to Herat City, they no longer work as there is no work here. No one buys handmade rugs anymore. My daughters-in-law are busy with house chores and with taking care of their children. Their husbands (Dastagul’s sons) make ends meet now. I tell them that I was able to bring up two orphaned boys through carpet weaving, why do you not work? They tell me that I had the willpower and courage to do that, they do not have that. Ah! [Laughing] They tell me I had a lot of courage to do that; that I had a lot of vitamins and in comparison, put their vitamins in shame. [Laughing] They do not wish to work and cannot work. Yes, I told them I got weak because of work, my eyes lost their power, and my hands and feet don’t work anymore. I have gotten weak from all that work and now, it is on my sons’ shoulders to bring food. I can no longer work. There is a dent in my hand where I held scissors while weaving carpets. My hand has gone limp now because I would constantly work on the carpet loom and my eyes have gotten weak.

My sons tell me, “Mother! Even if we take you to Mecca [for pilgrimage], we cannot repay you even for one night of you taking care of us.” This is life. I suffered a lot, got beaten up, received verbal abuse, and heard all kinds of things. I would tremble day and night like an animal getting slaughtered for fear that someone would take my sons away from me. I suffered all kinds of pain. My sons would know my value after all. Now that they have grown up, I tell them about my suffering. They tell me that they could not have done anything because they were young and did not understand. Some mothers who raised their orphaned children were kicked out of the homes by their sons. Meaning, they kicked out their poor mother. There are children like this. There are children like this in our village.

Still, I thank God that my sons are decent men. Who knows if I will live ten more years or not? Only God knows. My youngest son says, “Mother! Do not fret. Do not worry too much. Mother! Your presence is a blessing to us. You are our hope. Your shadow over us is a blessing.” But I tell them that now that have wives and their own families, forget about my shadow over them. My sons tell me, “No, your shadow and presence are a blessing to us.” My boys did not have a father so they only had their mother, they received love only from their mother. Only we know a mother’s pain. For their peace of mind, I tell them that, God willing, I shall remain like a cloud that provides shade to you. I am very much pleased with my sons. They ask me about their father like how he looked, his height, and his figure. And no ease their minds, I tell them that their father looked like their uncles. They look at their father’s photos and constantly ask about his height and face. They tell me, “Mother, if our father were alive, God knows how much better our lives would have been.” For their comfort, I tell them their father was not the only one who was martyred. There are thousands of other orphaned children who grew up in similar circumstances without their fathers. I tell them that their father’s life was that long. Yes, sometimes they ask me about their father all day, twenty-four hours. They love their father so much that when my youngest son went to Iran, he took his father’s photo to make a bigger print and frame it. They always miss their father. Still, to ease their pain, I tell them that that person does not have a father and this person lost their father in an accident so that they do not suffer too much because of their father’s absence. Their hearts find comfort in that and they share their pain with me.

I Found Him at Dusk

Narrator: Ghulam Abbas Mobarez (Victim’s brother)

Victim: Ali Madad Mobarez (18-years-old)

Place of incident: Mirzaolang, Qul Khatoon Village, Sayyad District, Sar-e Pol Province

Time of incident: During Soviet occupation 1979 to 1989

On the day of my brother’s martyrhood, I was somewhere else. Our martyred brother Ali Madad Mobarez was harvesting wheat somewhere at the time when the Soviets attacked and killed civilians. He was harvesting on the fields and at around noon, they took a break from work when the Soviet aircrafts came. There are a lot of juniper trees in Mirzaolang. The trees are really massive and he was sitting under their shade. While the aircrafts were flying over, he had come out from under the trees to look at them. It was at this moment when they were spotted and shot at. They fled to another area while injured. They took refuge there and then started towards their home when the aircrafts saw them and fired again. He was about half an hour away from our home when he was spotted. He had fallen on the ground right there.

At first, my brother was just injured and, in that state, had fled the area. He had gotten himself close to our home when he was spotted once again and they fired at him. After that, he had fallen on the ground and we knew nothing about his situation or whereabout so that we could have checked up on him. The day went by and by sunset, we were waiting for him to come back. We kept on waiting but there was no news of him. I went out to look for him and after walking for a bit, I saw him on the ground. He was right across the fields in Mirzaolang, we farm in this area. It was at dusk when I found him. I saw him on the ground but he was still alive. I grabbed him by his arm but I could not lift him up. He was not skinny like myself; he was a lot heavier and twice my size even though I was older than him. No matter how much I tried to bring him back home, I could not carry him. Finally, he told me, “Go and bring a donkey.” I came back home. My parents asked me, "What happened? Is Ali Madad not coming?” By God, I could not tell them anything. Instead, I told them, “He will come from the back [of the house].” I took a horse and left. I did not say anything at home but went to my neighbour to inform them that my brother has been injured by the aircraft and we need to bring him back home on the horse. By the time I arrived, he had already passed away and became a martyr. Now we were forced to carry his body back home on the horse. Sadly, my parents did not know anything so when I brought [my brother’s dead body] home, they were devastated. My father collapsed. My mother also collapsed. Basically, both of them lost consciousness as my brother had left home healthy and well in the morning but at night, his lifeless body came to them. We brought him back and buried him after people gathered. After that incident, we left Mirzaolang, specifically the area we lived in which was called Qul Khatoon. We left that area because my parents could no longer bear living there. After my brother’s martyrdom, we migrated to the Mirzaolang Valley itself. In short, we experienced so many changes after the incident. It has been twenty years since but I do not remember the exact date when it happened.

After my family, many of our neighbours also migrated to the valley but this time, the valley was captured by the Taliban. This time, the Taliban killed people and looted their property. Afterwards, we came to Sar-e Pol and currently, we live in Mazar. They [the Soviets] had come with helicopters and fired. There were bullet wounds in different areas of his body. A bullet had hit his hand and another his leg. The last bullet had entered from his back and existed on the other side of his abdomen. After his funeral ceremony, when we came back on the fields, there were bullets on the ground.

Areas such as Mirzaolang, Sar-e Pol, Saidabad and Charbagh, had Mujahidin fighters whom fought with the Soviets. For this reason, the Soviets would kill anyone part of the Mujahidin or the residents of those areas. Although my brother was just a farmer, they had shot him under the suspicion that he is a Mujahid fighter or might become one.

Two or three months after Ali Madad’s death, my mother fell sick but did not recover from it and passed away. Two years after that, due to my brother’s grief, I lost my father. My sister got married. I also got married. Basically, life was very difficult. My brother had good manner. He respected our parents and me. Although I was older, he was a lot bigger than me in size and always took care of the heavy labor. He used to say, “I am strong, I can do it but you are weak, so you cannot.” There were around 400-500 families living In Mirzaolang. Around us, everyone was Sunni Muslims and we had no way out. There was only one route to Sar-e Pol. When the Taliban captured Mirzaolang, the residents there made a lot of complaints to the government. In response, the government sent four tanks in support of the people. The tanks could not hold up and as a result, fled towards Sar-e Pol.

The people lost their morale and while the Taliban had captured from Sar-e Pol to the valley, only very few people were fleeing the area. There was so much bullets being fired that people no longer cared. They would say, “If we are going to die, let us die and if we are going to live, let us live, but we do not want to be captured alive by the Taliban.” At night, everyone fled. Whether it was a woman, a child, an old man; those who wanted to escape fled the area. Of the individuals whom fled around two or three in the morning, some were able to pass through and flee but some were captured by the Taliban. The Taliban killed around fifty or sixty people.

Although I was not there and have only heard from others, they say that those captured were taken back on foot around 10 minutes away from the place of their capture, and ten people were beheaded. There were old men, children aged five and six, and even women among those ten people. Women were in such a state [of terror and panic] that they were not able to take their headscarves with them. After everything calmed down in the area, people went back to recover the dead. Around fifty to sixty people were killed.

My first wife’s father, who was around 55 to 60-years-old, was beheaded during that incident. He was a farmer but he was beheaded. I do not remember exactly, but we buried his body maybe ten to fifteen days after – after the Taliban had left the area. He could not be identified by his face, we identified him through his clothes.

The Bloody Wednesday

Enayatullah Naseeri is the brother of Rahmatullah Hasib Nasiri. He was born on August 26, 1986 and finished school in 2004. He has a Bachelor of social sciences from Kabul University and works as a journalist in a weekly newspaper called “Rewayat Emroz,” and as a researcher at the Pursish Research and Studies Institute. Hasib was his older brother and both were really close and had strong emotional attachment to each other. Enayatullah Nasiri has written this story and sent it to us. He says about his brother, “We used to joke around with each other. But he was my most important financial and emotional support during my school and university years.”

Narrator: Enayatullah Nasiri (brother of the victim)

Victim: Rahmatullah Hasib Nasiri

Date of the incident: May 31, 2017

Place of the incident: Zanbaq Square, Kabul

May 31 at 8:23 AM on a Wednesday; I still think about that moment. I felt as though hot lead had been poured on my heart and burned my whole body. I still cannot believe that Hasib is gone and is no longer with us. I still longingly gaze at the entrance gate thinking he might enter with a smile on his face. The sounds of car horns have startled me many times because I think it might be him wanting us to open the gate for him. Whenever he reached the gate with his car, he would always make his presence known with a different pattern of honking. It was the beginning of Ramadan. As usual, Hasib would call me on my phone to wake me up while having his sahari. We ate our food and after a bit of chatting, everyone went back to their rooms. No one knew that it was his last sahari and the last conversation we would share.

We did not see each other that morning. Before that, he would always come to my room to say goodbye before leaving for his office. He was an employee of Roshan Telecommunication Company and worked in the head office located near Zanbaq square. That day, I had slept in longer than usual because I was awake a bit later after sahari. When he had left the house, I was still asleep. When I woke up, the clock showed a few minutes before eight o’clock. I laid down on my bed and started reading a book. Minutes later, the sound of a horrible explosion shook my heart. I got worried. I picked my phone and called Hasib but he did not answer. Previously, if he did not answer the phone, he would quickly send a text that he is busy and will call later. On that day, I waited for a few moments to receive his text but there was no text from him. I tried again and called him several times but he did not answer.

I opened Facebook. Everyone [on Facebook] thought the explosion was near their location because the explosion was extremely strong. For this reason, the [Facebook] users thought the place of explosion was in different places. Among them, one person had posted that “the explosion happened near Zanbaq square in Kabul.” I got worried. Just as the pictures of the explosion in Zanbaq square and the surrounding areas were passing by my eyes, the door of my room slammed open. It was my sister-in-law and she said, “There has been an explosion in Wazir Akbar Khan area and Hasib is not answering his phone, that is why Arezu, Hasib’s wife, is crying.” Although I was feeling restless and worried, I went to speak with them and comfort them. I told them, “Pray, inshallah, that Hasib is okay and nothing has happened to him.”

With apprehension and a heavy heart, I left the house. I saw my mother enter the house after dropping Hasib’s son to school. Apparently, she was not aware of the explosion. I passed by her in a hurry. I was near Maidan Shaheed Mazari when she called and sadly cried out that Hasib’s colleagues answered his phone to inform that he has been injured and they have taken him to the hospital. My worry increased tenfold. The traffic around Maidan area was unbearable for me. I got out of the car. I spotted Hayatullah Bayan’s car on the other side of the road. I went to him and saw that he was not in good condition. The driver was sprinkling cold water onto his face and hands.

I said, “What happened? Is everything okay?”

He replied, “I was very close to the explosion, I feel faint.”

I said, “Hasib has been injured and transferred to the hospital.”

Bayan got shocked. He got up from his place and told his driver to start toward the hospital. I went toward Emergency Hospital. The police had blocked the road in Shar-e Naw. I got out of the car and ran toward the hospital. The city had been out of breath and had turned into a ruin. A large crowd were going in all direction with worry and panic. The windows in buildings were all broken. Everything was covered in broken glass. The city was filled with sorrow and smoke. The police were removing people from the middle of the street and near buildings left window shards fall on them. The front of Emergency Hospital was filled with the wounded. The sounds of wailing and groaning which I heard on that day still haunts my ears. Many were running here and there with their bloody clothes. Sounds of ambulance passing through to transport the wounded could be heard every moment.

We reached there around thirty minutes after the explosion. Black smoke was still visible in the place of the incident. I saw a few employees of Roshan Telecommunication Company running around in a panic. We were looking for any news about Hasib. The list of wounded that were admitted to the hospital was still not posted. The discussions surrounding the number of casualties of the incident filled everywhere. I asked about Hasib from any employee of Roshan that I met there. I comforted myself with the thought that he has only been injured. This was not the first time which I went to Emergency Hospital to look for those injured by explosions. Last year, as well, two of my friends named Bismillah Alizada and Sayeed Madadi, who were injured in the explosion targeting the protestors of the Roshnayi Movement in Dehmazang, were also brought to this hospital.

Inside the hospital, my eyes fell on a young man who had a Roshan ID card lanyard around his neck. I asked him about Hasib but he did not recall. I explained that Rahmatullah Hasib Nasiri, Roshan’s finance controller, was one of their colleagues. He let out a big sigh and asked, “What relation do you have with him?”

I said, “I am his brother.”

He paused a bit and said, “He is wounded but he is well so do not worry.”

Before I could ask more questions, he apologized and walked toward the ambulance.

A number of my friends including Hussain Hazara, Qayum Surosh, Mahmood Muhammadi, Ehsan Safdari, Bismillah Alizada, and Juma Khan Rahyab also reached and got busy searching for the list of the victims. They tried coordinating to go inside the hospital and inspect the wounded. I found another employee of Roshan; he was one of the people who had transported the wounded to the hospital. I first enquired about the condition of Omid Faizi, Hasib’s colleague. He said, “Faizi is in a good condition. Only his hand sustained a small injury.” Then, I asked about Hasib. He said, “Wallah, he was injured a bit more but do not worry; he has been transported to the hospital. Inshallah he will get better.” Despite getting really worried, I asked about the condition of Mohammad Azeem Rizayi, one of our relatives who had been recently appointed in Roshan. He said that no one had been injured from their section and he was well.

My phone was ringing every second; my friends and family were continuously calling to ask about Hasib. My mother called once every two minutes. Although her throat felt tight with grief, she would ask, “Did you find Hasib?” Then she would make a request, “give the phone to Haseeb just once, I want to hear him say even one word.” I would comfort her and say, “Dear mother, I still have not found him but as soon as I do find him, I will definitely call you.” My father called several times and said that he will come to the hospital after us, but I requested that he stays at home and take care of my mother and the rest of the family. However, Ahmad Jawed, Hasib’s friend and coworker, had come to our house after finding out about the explosion and was bringing my parents with him to the hospital. My mother had gone to the hospital twice and the second time, she had even gone to check the morgue. When she came from the hospital exist, she was completely broken and crushed. She was crying from the depth of her heart and sat on the ground by the hospital entrance. She had not found her son there.

After we were certain that Hasib was not in the Emergency Hospital, we informed all our friends to thoroughly search other hospitals around the city. I tried several times to get myself close to Hasib’s office at Roshan’s head office which was also near the place of explosion. I was told that there was a first aid clinic inside the company building. I thought Hasib might be there. The thought of Hasib stuck under the rubble and wounded even crossed my mind. I thought to go to rescue him and bring him to the hospital. However, all of the paths towards the office were completely blocked and the police did not allow people to pass through. When I looked at the buildings impacted by the blast from afar, I saw nothing expect ruins and smoke. My heart would tremble and to hide from my terrifying thoughts, I returned to the hospital to continue my search.

On that day, we search all of the hospitals until two in the afternoon but we did not find Hasib. It was close to half past two when one of my friends called that a number of critically wounded have been transported to the Emergency Hospital just now. Those of us who were there decided to split into two groups; one group would go to the Police Hospital in Afshar and I, along with few others, would head toward Emergency Hospital once again. When we reached the hospital, my companions went toward the entrance gate and checked the list of the wounded. But the moment I saw that the path towards the place of the explosion was open, I ran towards it. I passed by the street when I heard Mahmood’s voice. In hopes of hearing news, I went to him. I noticed Surosh who was crying while leaning on the wall of the hospital. Worried, I asked Mahmood, “What happened?” He replied, “They found Hasib.” Again, I asked with a trembling voice, “Is he alive?” With tears flowing from his eyes, he replied, “Hasib is no longer with us.”

My body went cold. I lost feeling in my arms and legs. With the help of my friends, I dragged myself toward the wall of the hospital and dropped to the ground. After that I do not know what happened or how we got from emergency Hospital to the mortuary of Wazir Akbar Khan Hospital. I saw my father there. He had dropped off my mother back home after quickly searching Ali Abad Hospital and got himself to Wazir Akbar Khan Hospital quicker than us. With two people holding him from his shoulders, he slowly started walking towards me. When he reached my side, he took me in his arms. He put his head on my shoulder and started crying quietly. Then he lifted his head up and let out a loud sigh after drying his eyes with a handkerchief. He turned to my friends and said, “I saw Hasib but my eyes went dark and I collapsed. You first make sure whether he is our Hasib or not, then we will inform the others that we have found him so that they do not become bothered more than this. Please ask them to gather in Wazir Akbar Khan Hospital.”

I wanted to go and see Hasib, and tell him, “Get up, brother, the grief of your absence is heavy and breaks my spirit. Get up because I cannot return home without you.” I remembered his dreams and my dreams which were destroyed in a blink of an eye. I got up from my place and walked toward the mortuary but others stopped me by my shoulders and requested that I be patient. They told me that when everyone else comes, all of us shall go inside.

Slowly, everyone gathered. They also took me to check the body. After the door of the fridge swung open, my eyes fell on Hasib’s pale and bright body. The whole world turned black in my eyes. Yes, the body kept in the drawer of a mortuary fridge in his bloody and dusty clothes was indeed was our Haseeb. My mother, Hasib’s wife, and his son. Oh God! How could I tell them that Hasib is no longer with us? It was decided that the news would be broken to them slowly; my father would go back home and tell them that Hasib is injured but Surosh and I are by his side. A group of my friends and I went to Bayan’s home to plan for Hasib’s funeral and burial.

My mother, my elder brother Asad, my younger brother Ehsan, and other friends, which were not informed, would call me every second to ask about Hasib. I was scared of answering them and each call startled me. Especially when my mother would call, I tried my best to talk calmly and not let my voice tremble lest she finds out about what had happened. I am still scared of my phone ringing. I have jolted awake at night several times after hearing the sound of my phone ringing but then realize that it is the middle of the night and I am in a world without Hasib. Ah!

Instead, my father calling me gives me comfort. The patience and strength which he displayed after coming to face with Hasib’s lifeless body also gave me strength. That night, around ten, he called to tell me that I need to get myself back home no matter what because my mother was not in a good condition. She had become suspicious of our behavior and had suspected that Hasib is no more but she was also scared that something must have happened to me as well. I got worried and quickly started toward home. I got myself home but that night, the atmosphere inside our home was very strange. Everyone was awake and waited for Hasib. After I got back home, my mother said, “Hasib left me, did you also want to leave me now?” Everyone was worried that something would happen to my mother after hearing about Hasib’s passing because she had high blood pressure. For this reason, we tried to not tell her at once and suddenly. But I was surprised to find that my mother was quite strong that night. She would comfort me and tell me to have patience. My father paced the room that night until morning. Sometimes, he would come by my side and comfort me and some other times, I would talk with him. Each moment passed heavily and bitterly. Everything felt bothersome and unkind.

The following day, early in the morning, we went to Hasib once again. The mortuary of Wazir Akbar Khan had a busy day ahead. From that early in the morning, we saw large crowds of people who had come to collect the bodies of their loved ones. We, too, collected the lifeless body of our beloved and went toward Forensic Hospital. That day and the day after it when we brought Hasib’s body from the Forensic Hospital to the mosque, I took a long look at him. Even when I was by his body, I felt calm. Asadullah, my elder brother who lived abroad, wanted to come to the country for the funeral. He was able to reach Kabul around one in the afternoon on Friday and we decided to hold the funeral at two o’clock on the same day. That day when we brought Hasib to the Mosque from the Forensic Hospital, I saw that Asadullah was impatiently waiting for his brother. He had come to the mosque directly from the airport. I went to his side. He took me in his arms. The hug of a brother is so warm and calming! I became alive once again and took refuge in his arms. That day, I was stronger than the day before because Asad was by my side and Hasib was also in front of my eyes. Around three o’clock, all of us said farewell to Hasib and sent him to his eternal home. The ground became heavier after swallowing so many bodies but the world above it turned empty for us forever with the absence of Hasib.

Hasib is currently living in the memories of us, many of our friends, colleagues, and relatives. Rahmatullah Hasib Nasiri was born on August 26, 1986 in Shaki Nawka of Qarabagh District in Ghazni Province. He finished school in 2004. He had a Bachelors in Certified Accounting Technician (CAT) from Bakhtar Private University and held a post-graduate degree from a Malaysian university in ACCA (the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants). He was an instructor at the American University of Afghanistan and had previously worked with Care International in Afghanistan, Actionaid Afghanistan, and finance initiative of the United Nations. At the time of his death, Hasib was an employee of Roshan Telecommunication Company as the Finance Controller of the company and was a member of the High Board of Accountants of Afghanistan. He was a hope for his family and country which was lost and is no longer with us. Like thousands of other innocent souls of this country, he became the victim of extremism, violence, and terror.

I Identified Her from Her Ring, Earring, And Skirt

Maryam Hussaini was born on June 26, 1994, in Zardney Village, Shahristan District, Daikundi Province. She is five years younger than her sister, Najiba, who she looked to as a role model. Maryam has a BA in environmental studies from Kabul University and a BA in computer science. Currently, she is working with the Health and Social Care Organization in Daikundi. This narrative has been recorded by Afghanistan's Human Rights and Democracy Organization (AHRDO). Maryam had to search for her sister among tens of dead bodies. Therefore, she cried several times while narrating this narrative.

Narrator: Maryam Hussaini (victim's sister)

Victim: Najiba Hussaini

Date of incident: July 24, 2015

Venue of incident: Sar-e Kariz area, District 3, Kabul City

I am Maryam Hussaini, sister of Najiba Hussaini. I am 24-years-old and five years younger than Najiba. When the incident happened, Najiba was 28-years-old. She was born in 1989 in Shahristan District, Daikundi Province. She was the first child of my parents. I was born five years after her, and then my five brothers were born. Najiba was martyred in the incident on July 26, 2015, in the Sar-e Kariz area. When such an incident happens, the Taliban or Daesh usually take responsibility. But no one knows who is responsible for this attack.

Najiba was not supposed go to her office that day. She had taken leave from her office. Her passport was expired. She was supposed to apply for her new passport as she was planning to go on a trip abroad. In fact, she left home that day with such intention. I had left for the university an hour earlier than Najiba. At the university, I heard the explosion from Sar-e Kariz, District 3, Kabul City. When I heard the explosion, I thought that Najiba should not have been on her way to the office at this time along with other employees. I thought she would leave home later as she was planning to follow up on her passport renewal. I called her, but her phone was off. You know, it is a usual reaction for us Afghans to call our loved ones as the first thing after an explosion to make sure none of our family members are hurt. So, the first person I called was Najiba, as others were either at home or were not at that route at that time.

The second person I called was Mr. Rezaie. I thought he might know about her. When I called Rezaie, he had just left home for his office. He said that, unfortunately, he did not know either. He said that he knew there was a suicide attack but did not know about Najiba.

We went to different hospitals. I was hoping that she might have been injured or simply that her mobile phone was not working as it was common after such incidents. However, I could not think that such a significant incident had happened.

It was 7 am when we started searching for her, hoping that she might be injured or her phone was lost. We thought we should rush and take her to a better hospital if she was injured. The last hospital that was searched was the Police 200-Bed Hospital. It was around 11 am that we found Najiba's body there.

I was at the university when the attack happened. The first hospital I searched was Muwla Ali Hospital, the closest hospital to the explosion’s site. We were also told that the wounded were taken to that hospital. We found an injured person called Najiba on the list of that hospital with no severe injuries. As we searched further, we found that there were two martyrs in the same hospital. The hospital’s steps were covered with blood. It was the first time that I saw humankind's blood. For the first time, I saw pieces of human bodies. This was very difficult for me.

We searched many other hospitals afterward. But we could not find Najiba. That injured person, also called Najiba, was a school student. Najiba's body was not identifiable in the hospital where we found her. I identified a hand cut from her body and a silver earring in her ear. A part of her face was fused. The other thing we could identify was a piece of her clothes that she had worn at her MA graduation in Japan. That day, she wore the same clothes. It was tough for me. At the hospital, the officials did not let the extended family identify the corpse. It had to be someone from their immediate family. As my mother was living in Daikundi, it was only me. My aunties were there, but the hospital officials were not letting them go and identify the corpse. They were saying it had to be her sister. My brother first went to see the corpse. When he saw the corpse, he was shocked. I took him to the hospital. Then it was only I who had to go and identify the corpse. This was my first time and worst memory of seeing pieces of human bodies. I kept opening the coffins to find my sister. It was very difficult for me. I identified her from her ring, an earring in her ear, a part of her face that was not damaged, and a piece of her skirt.

All my hopes were destroyed there. There was no hope of searching for other hospitals. I opened the coffins three times. The doctors insisted to make sure we were not taking the wrong corpus. They were saying: "You must be very careful. You must be very strong and precise so that, God forbid, you do not take the wrong corpse instead of your sister's corpse." Therefore, I had to search the corpses three times. I was sure for several reasons. First, her hand was cut at the explosion site and it was intact, and I identified her from her ring. A piece of her skirt was also beside the coffin, and her earring was fused on her face. These clues made us sure that it was Najiba.

As our family members, colleagues, and friends got the news of the incident, everyone gathered and started searching for Najiba. We were divided into different groups. I was with Mr. Rezaie and some other relatives. We went to every hospital in Kabul, and there was a possibility that the injured ones might have been transported there. So the first thing we would do was to list the injured ones. We visited all these hospitals but could not find Najiba's name among their injured person list, except a Najib, who was 16-years-old and was a school student. First, we hoped that she would be our Najiba. But unfortunately, she was a Najiba of another family. We are happy that at least that Najiba was alive. When we could not find our Najiba in the list of wounded persons, we were forced to search among the martyrs and the torn bodies of martyrs. When I went to morgues, at the same time, an incident had happened in one of the provinces, and there were so many corpses of policemen. There were so many corpses, and it was very difficult for me. I had not seen a human corpus before; forget about bodies fused and torn into pieces.

I visited every coffin three times in search of Najiba, and then, I was sure. I told them it was her and did not know what happened next. I do not know how long I was unconscious at the hospital, for example, when they decided to transport the corpse. Once I opened my eyes, I realized that we were transporting the corpse to Daikundi. And it was very difficult that while searching for Najiba among the corpses, my father and mother kept calling me. I told them that there was such an incident and that they should pray that Najiba's car had not been the target. But they were distraught and wanted to ensure that Najiba was not among the incident's victims. It was very difficult for me to tell my father and my mother that such a horrible incident had happened. Finally, when I was sure it was Najiba's corpse and she was no longer alive, I had to tell my mother to prepare her. When my mother called me for the last time, all I could say to her was that Najiba was no longer among us. I do not know what else I told her. That is the toughest thing I ever told my mother. So that is how it happened. A year and few months after the incident, we still must deal with it.

Najiba and I were together in Daikundi only during our childhood and teenage years. After she finished school, she went to Bamiyan to give the university entrance exam and then moved to Kabul to study languages. So we were separated when I was in the seven or eight class of school. However, my mother always says that we were good during our childhood. She says we were very close and kind to each other and that she does not remember if we ever argued about anything.

Our childhood and teenage years were excellent. After Najiba moved to Kabul, it was the winter that year when she got a full scholarship in India as she had held the first position in all her school. We did not know that Najiba had the first position in her school. After that, she got a scholarship, and we understood that she had held the first position in all her schools, from first class to 12th class. Therefore, she was nominated and won a scholarship in India.

So Najiba moved to India, and I stayed in Daikundi with my mother. Najiba returned to Kabul after three years and completing her studies. I also came to Kabul to continue my education here. At the time, I was in 11th class. So it was the time that we reunited after almost four years. But our family was still living in Daikundi, and it was only us residing in Kabul.

Then, Najiba got a job at the Ministry of Mines. I was busy preparing for the university entrance exam and my school studies. After three years, Najiba won a competitive scholarship to study for a master's degree in Japan. So Najiba went to Japan while I stayed in Kabul and continued my studies. At that time, I was studying at Kabul University.

We both hoped and insisted on studying the same field. Our dreams were always the same. Najiba had studied Computer Science and I was accepted into Geology. So I also enrolled in Computer Science at a private university. I finished it this year.

Najiba got her MA in Computer Science and Information Technology. When she returned to the country in 2016, we reunited after almost three years. We, two sisters, had a happy and good life. It is a calm life. I am not saying it was a luxury. We were enjoying our simple lives and were moving to reach the peak of our happiness. We were getting close to our goals. Najiba had almost already reached her goals. I was trying to get there as well.

Najiba had only lived in Afghanistan for seven months when this attack happened. She was preparing for her wedding those days. We were planning to hold her engagement party in Daikundi a week or two after the incident. We mourned for the 40th day of her killing exactly when we planned to celebrate her wedding. Unfortunately, this incident happened. I have good memories with her. We went to Daikundi for the 2017 Eid. All the family members were together. On the second day of Eid, we traveled to Nili, where my aunt lived. My father was driving, and we, two sisters, were busy photographing and creating memories. Then, we traveled to Band-e Amir, Bamiyan. It was for the first time that we visited Band-e Amir.

It was very hard to deal with this incident for my mother. I was seriously sick after the incident, I was hospitalized, and had two operations. It was very difficult for my mother, who had already lost one daughter and was preparing to lose the second one. Even she had forgotten Najiba's death.

I hope and pray that no other family becomes a victim. Today I am telling this story and hoping it reaches those who commit such horrible crimes. At least with our repeated voice, their consciences trail them and stop them from committing such crimes against any other family. And no one mourns for the loss of their loved ones. So I am hopeful for that day and pray peace comes.

We do not know whose hands were behind the incident. The Taliban and Daesh usually take responsibility after each incident, whether big or small. And we also know that the Taliban and Daesh are fake. So probably, someone else's hands are involved behind the scenes. I hope the day comes that these people will be held accountable in front of their consciouses and that their consciouses are awake and do not let them commit such a crime against any other family whose members have not committed any sins. At least, they do not take their happiness.

No statement

No statement

No statement

He Died From Gunshots

Narrator: Hussaindad Tabish (victim’s nephew)

Victim: Mohammad Alidad

Date of incident: 2000

Place of incident: Sauf Valley Market, Samangan Province

My uncle’s name is Alidad and he did not have any surname. I do not remember his birth year but the year he died. He died twenty years ago, in the year 2000. He was born in Bamiyan and he was a farmer in Bamiyan’s center called Dehzardak Shaidan Town. He also used to live there. There were no schools back then but he had studied a bit under a cleric. He knew just enough to be able to read.

He had not married and was single. He became a martyr in 2000 at 20-years-old, but the exact date is not known. I was a kid back then and at that time [time of incident], I was not there. It was during the Taliban regime. We are originally from Shahidan. But when the Taliban came to Shahidan, they looted and took everything. All our possessions and our cows, everything we had, they took it all.

The men fled Bamiyan Province. I do not remember these incidents, but these stories are what I have heard from my father and grandfather. When the Taliban came, they took all our property and possessions. Other than that, our people fled the area towards mountains and deserts. After they [the Taliban] left, the people came back and took their belongings to migrate towards Khakdu, Zardakao, and Sauf Valley. After coming to Sauf Valley, we resided there for a while. My uncle went out to the market to buy groceries but he was killed on his way.

The Taliban were responsible, yes! It was almost in the afternoon. My uncle was alone when they shot him. A bullet struck his shoulder. I think he fled to the jungle to hide among the trees but he was sprayed with bullets and died from the gunshots. The place of the incident was the market itself, Sauf Valley market.

The Sauf Valley market was completely under the control of the Taliban. It was under their total control. Although I do not have precise information, it was surely taken [by the Taliban]. They must have controlled all of the market or a large portion of it. For instance, the Taliban went to and from that area. At that time, my uncle went to the market and even got bread or something similar, but he was killed on his way back. At that time, all of our family was in Samangan.

A person named Aziz Rahimi broke the news of his death. At that time, Aziz Rahimi was a commander or something of the same effect, I think. He almost had a sort of kinship with my uncle and he broke the news of his death to us. Unfortunately, I do not remember the name of the area we lived in. All I know is that it was in the surrounding areas of the Sauf Valley market. We got the news at night. Aziz Rahimi had not brought his body, he was only informed that Alidad had been killed. They took the body directly to the mosque and from there, to the cemetery. So my father, Aziz Rahimi, and some other local people went to the place of the incident. Without a doubt, the death of a person, whether they were young or old, is painful. Especially, for Alidad – though I do not remember and this is what my family says – who was a calm, kind, well-mannered, and good young man. While at home, he always treated everyone well, like his mother, grandmother, my father, and other family members. When my grandmother heard the news, she collapsed. She fainted several times and from then on, she has become ill. There has never been once (since the incident) when she has been well and healthy; she could not regain her health. She is always unwell and there is always someone who helps her get up and go around. She is not able to get up on her own. She always thinks about my martyred uncle. She says if only Alidad had a son, or wishes that he had been older, but they lost him when he was so young.

[Alidad’s death was difficult] for the rest of the family members. For my father, it was very difficult because after we lost our uncle, my grandfather also passed away and he was left in all the hardships of life alone. This was also when we had nothing left. The Taliban had looted all our property and cattle. They took everything we had. We could only save ourselves from that place. Other than that, we did not have anything we could use for charity and other commemorative ceremonies after the funeral for my uncle and grandfather. We could not afford that. Those times were truly difficult for my father. When you think about it, it was like he would leave his bed and go out several times at night just to cry. My uncle provided for the family, along with my father, as farmers. He would work actively as a breadwinner.

There was no fighting when we were in Samangan, but before this incident, there used to be fighting. It was around afternoon when my uncle had left toward the market to buy bread or something similar. Possibly, the Taliban were in those areas. After he went to the market, got the bread, and was coming back, they spotted him and fired at him. There was no fighting there. There were no intense fights, but those areas were under the control of the Taliban. The fighting had just stopped but it did not make a difference to the Taliban whether the person outside is a civilian or not, because no one left their homes out of fear. He had only gone out to get food so that we do not starve to death. His grave is still there in Samangan but sadly, it is too far from us. It is really far from our place. My grandmother always wishes we were closer so that she could visit his grave one more time.

My grandmother is still alive but she is very weak. She could not recover from my uncle’s death, although she is not very old. My grandmother only had two sons: only Alidad, my uncle, and the other is my father. After my uncle died, she said that her life became incomplete. Since then, she has been bedridden and sick. She is still alive but she is very weak; extremely weak.

I have [paternal] aunts, yes! I have four aunts. All of them are married. At that time, we were around eight members in our family when my father and uncle worked. We have our own home in Bamiyan. When the Taliban came to our areas, they pillaged, plundered, and set fire to everything. They took our possessions and cattle with them. After that, we left that place and came here. We did not know anything here. The houses which we lived in, no one has told me whether they were rented or not, so I do not have any details on that matter.

A very long time ago, I am not sure when but long ago, my grandfather used to assemble people for fighting. In one of those fights, my grandfather was injured and lost one leg. After that, he was unable to provide for the family so all the responsibility as the guardian fell on my father’s shoulders.

As far as I can remember, my grandmother has a handkerchief. She had gotten my uncle that handkerchief when he used to work somewhere. He had bunched up the handkerchief into the shape of a ball and used to play with it as a ball with us and anyone else that was at home. When he would come back home, we used play with the ball-shaped handkerchief. That handkerchief is still with my grandmother back home. My uncle also used to love to read and write. I have some of his notebooks and similar things with me. It has been many years that we have preserved them with us. They are very dear to us. Very much dear to all of us. But if the place (War Victim Museum: Center for Dialogue and Memory in Afghanistan) is safe, we will surely send it [to you]. We would definitely give them to you as a way to commemorate him but if it gets lost or misplaced, for example, then we cannot give them to you unfortunately.

There has not been any instance when they tell stories about my uncle to us because after every time there is a mention of him, everyone becomes absolutely silent at our home. But yes, the things that are mentioned very, very, very much are his good behavior and manners toward others. They say he had a lot of respect for elders. At home, he was always good to his mother. He always treated his mother, father, brother, and sister-in-law very well. One other thing that they mention is that he had a keen liking to me. Whenever he would come back home, he would hold my hands and lift me to play with me, whether I was asleep or awake. Also, he would lift me from where I was sleeping to wake me up to spend time with me.

God bless and thank you for your program. It is a very interesting and good program. Truly, no family wants to be away from the memory of their lost loved one. Their good manners and behaviors, and all of their characteristics are always remembered. They are always remembered by the family and after I heard about your program, I became really happy. I thought that this program will commemorate the victims for centuries, and we can see all of the things that occurred many years ago. It is possible that everything that he left behind, his pictures or pieces of writings, could be lost, torn, or misplaced at home, but here it will be preserved. I am happy with your program. Thank you and best of luck.

We Still Have Father’s Bullet-Torn Blanket

Jaweda is a student at Bamiyan University. She is sharing the story of losing her father based on how her mother had narrated it to her. She retells the story of hardship that her mother experienced after she lost her husband.

Narrator: Jaweda (victim’s daughter)

Victim: Sayed Mohammad Alam Hussaini

Date of incident: 1998

Place of incident: Bamiyan

His name was Sayed Mohammad Alam Hussaini and he was 23 or 25-years-old. Yes, he was very young. He died on the year as I was born, in 1998. His place of birth and residence was Bamiyan Province and he belonged to the Bedmishkeen area of Yakaolang District. He had studied only until second or third grade. Due to some problems, he was not able to continue his education. He was a farmer by occupation but in his free time, he usually read books and could write as well. After my father’s death, we migrated to Iran for three years. My father died on December 30.

When we migrated to Iran, we did not take any of his belongings or writings with us. After we came back, none of his possessions were there either. I do not have any brothers. It is just my mother and three of my sisters. We did not have anyone to help us so we had no other choice but to leave for Iran. That is why we do not have any of my father’s possessions that I could bring here today with me. There is only one blanket left. When the fighting happened, [my father sent] all of us to the mountains to flee from danger. My mother, three sisters, and I were in the mountains when my father had gone to bring a blanket to keep us warm. It was winter so it was cold. He was moving toward the mountain with the blanket when he was shot at. The bullet struck his back and left a hole through the blanket. I have brought the torn blanket with me today. After going to and coming back from Iran, we no longer had my father’s personal items with us. He had many diaries filled with his writings but he did not have anyone else here to preserve them. He only had us but we had left to Iran at that time.

It is mountainous here and he was struck with a bullet while he was walking towards the mountain. My grandfather and cousins brought us and my father back from the mountain. Afterward, I think my father was alive for one more day because there were no hospitals back then advanced enough to treat a bullet wound like that. Yes, they did not exist back then. After one day, my father passed away in our home in Bedmishkeen area. They [grandfather and cousins] had brought him back home since if he had been shot in his abdomen, he could not be saved. They did not take him to the hospital. He was alive for one day before passing away. Only the families of my cousin and mine went to the mountain, but there was another woman from Bedmishkeen coming toward the mountain with my father. However, she survived and is still alive today. Only my father was lost. We did not stay in the mountain after that. Only my father died.

The first time I heard about the fighting, people were saying that it was not that intense and not many people had been killed. The next time, the fighting was intense [had more casualties too] and maybe that is why it was over sooner. The people returned to their homes from their places of hiding in the mountains. Maybe that is why we also came back home. My grandfather brought us to Akhundu area about one week after the attack. My grandfather, who had become our guardian after my father, along with my three uncles and cousins buried my father. We only had them. My father was buried near a shrine called “Shah Qalandar” in Bedmishkeen area.

My mother was young and she tells us about the problems and hardships that we faced [after my father’s death]. She tells us about the [difficult] life she had. Obviously, my mother was very young. She only had three daughters with only one year gap between them. My mother was very young. She said that when my father died, there were not many casualties. There was no one to emphasize with her and tell her they are with her to support her. There were no such things. My mother fought [for us] all alone and faced many hardships. She even says that we did not even have shoes. She used to patch and sew our shoes together. We had a lot of such problems. When my grandfather was alive, he took us under his guardianship and he used to provide for our living expenses. He had four wives and my father was from his eldest [first] wife. My father did not have full-siblings. He only had one full-sister who lives in Iran. As for my uncles (father’s half-brothers), except for creating problems for us, they do not provide any help. As long as my grandfather was alive, my uncles used to help us. Now that he is no more, we have no one to help us. Three of my sisters are married now. Before that, we used to make hand sown [items] and sell them in the market. Also, before we sold our cow, we used to make ends meet that way.

I do not know the details [of how the incident took place]. I don’t know, maybe when he was fleeing towards the mountain, they were there and fired at him. Other than that, I do not have any more information. My mother says she could not enjoy her youth and how it went. There is a lump in her stomach area and when we ask her about it, she responds that it is all because of grief and sadness. She tells us that it is because of stress and worry that that area has hardened and now she is unwell. Her hands and feet hurt. She has worked a lot and now her wrist joints all hurt. We cannot even afford to treat her. There are some problems which prevents us from taking her to the hospital for treatment and her betterment.

I am a university student now. When I got accepted to the university, I told my mother that I would not go because she did not have the money to give me to go study. She told me to go because God is merciful; He has helped us until now without my father and He shall continue to help us.

I currently live in Bamiyan and with the seven thousand provided for living expenses, I manage. We do not have a financial support or a brother that can work, we only have my mother and she is unwell now. She is old and cannot work to provide for me. She cannot go work and give me money. Currently, with the living allowance that my university provides for me, I manage. My father was a hard worker and used to work in the fields day and night because he was a farmer. He was young back then. I heard from many people, they praised [how hard working] my father was. He was youthful and always used to work hard to provide for his family in an honest manner. Despite that, my mother tells me that my grandfather used to punish my father a lot and used his catchphrase, “may God take you young” a lot. However, I do not know the reason why he used to say that. Even then, my father always respected my grandfather and always worked hard to keep him happy and satisfied. Yes [we have pictures of my father], which one should I bring? Yes, [we live in Bedmishkeen currently] in a single room which my grandfather had given us at that time. My uncles are fighting over that now but we still live in that home.

While in Pain and Agony, They Threw Him Among Salts

Jamila Hussaini is a 23-year-old married woman living in the Mirzaolang refugee tents. Jamila was born in Sar-e Pol Province. Until the fighting in Mirzaolang, she lived there in Naoabad’s Masjid Sarsang Village. She used to weave kilim rugs in Mirzaolang and has two sons named Binyamin and Yosuf.

Narrator: Jamila Hussaini (Victim’s sister)

Victim: Sayed Shahbaba Hussaini (45-years-old)

Place of incident: Mirzaolang, Sayad District, Sar-e Pol Province

My name is Jamil Hussaini and I studied till the fourth grade. I am 23-years-old and was born in Mirzaolang. Our village was called Sarsang. I am a housewife and do no other work except taking care of my sons. Previously, I used to weave rugs.

We are three siblings. I have two children named Binyamin, 3, born in Mirzaolang, and Yosuf, 1, who was born in Mazar. Currently, we live in rented houses in the Hassan Abad area of Mazar-e-Sharif. Before, we spent eight months in refugee tents. We lived in Sarsang Village where the fighting happened. Sayed Shahbaba, 45 years of age, was my brother and he was born in Mirzaolang. My brother used to farm in the village but he was literate.

My brother had two wives: six children from his first wife, and three daughters and two sons from his second wife. His eldest child from his first wife is Shah Jahan, 18-years-old, who studied only until the second grade. His second son is 17-years-old and studied until the eighth grade before we fled Mirzaolang. He has another son called Mohammad Ali and the name of his 14-year-old daughter is Bibijan, who does not study. Another son is called Juma Khan, 13, and the other daughter is Sumaya, 12. His children from his second wife are as follows: Zubaida (daughter), 12, Arifa (daughter), 9, Jawad (son), 7, Ruqaya (daughter), 4 and Kazim (son), only five-and-a-half years old.

My brother’s children no longer study after we fled Mirzaolang. There are either no schools here, or people do not want kids from Mirzaolang to study in their schools. The caretaker of the family after my brother was his 17-year-old son. We have left all our belongings - property, land, everything - and now, we have nothing.

When the fighting occurred in Mirzaolang, all thirteen members of the [victim’s] family were inside their home. My other brother also lived on the same property but all their finances and expenses were completely separate. My brother [victim] was the breadwinner of his family. On the night of the attack, all their property and donkeys, stacked with crops and harvest, remained in place while they fled and left everything behind.

On Sunday night, the Taliban captured the [police] checkpoints in Mirzaolang and for two nights, the people fought against the Taliban. On the third night, government forces and tanks came. The people said they would not leave until the last moment. On that last night, we were still in our village and after we came out to the streets, both the Taliban and government forces were shooting but neither side recognized the other, and everyone fled the area. Truly, life is precious. Everyone was trying to save themselves and because of the firing and tanks, all of them were separated while fleeing. We were the first to have escaped the area and it was still dark outside, but we could hear the sounds of gunfire.

My brother was separated from his family who managed to flee to Sar-e Pol with us. However, when we reached Sar-e Pol, he [victim] did not answer his phone and no one knew of his whereabouts. This is until the situation got better. After twelve days, my family went back to the area and found out that my brother had died. During those twelve days, many bodies, including my brother’s, had decomposed and became unrecognizable. My family recognized my brother from his footwear from the Panjshir area. There were around 30 to 40 more dead with my brother. Our relatives say that they could not sleep for one week after collecting the bodies because of how horribly the bodies were torn and decomposed.

Many people were wailing holding onto their father or uncle’s patho, or their mother, sister, or child’s clothes after they had returned to the area. I have videos of some of those scenes that I will show to you.

Truly, they killed the people in a cowardly manner because our area and its residents were not on the battle fronts. They held our people hostage and killed them, no matter their age. My brother’s children would always say that their father was in Mirzaolang to take care of the cattle in order to bring them to the family. However, when the news of my brother’s death reached, my sisters-in-law and their children were completely devastated as they could not believe it. They were all crying.

The children from my brother’s first wife lost both their father and mother. As for the children from the second wife, she’s the only caretaker of the family and they are not in good living circumstances. They do not have any new clothes or good food on Eid or other happy occasions. My sister-in-law (victim’s second wife) barely makes ends meet for eleven members of her family with rug weaving and doing people’s laundry. We never considered the security in Mirzaolang to be bad because all our property, land, and livelihood were there. We never thought that the Taliban would ruin our lives and make us homeless. But no, when the police checkpoints were abandoned, the Taliban surrounded the valley and fired at us. Binyamin, my youngest son, tripped several times when we were fleeing but still, because life is precious, he would do his best to run and escape the area. It was God’s will for some to die, and others to stay alive and get displaced like this.

The Taliban would always come to our village to tell us to surrender but we never did. In the end, neither the government nor the local people were able to defend [against them] until Mirzaolang collapsed and our people were killed. All of the Taliban and Daesh fight like cowards. They attack our homes, villages, and checkpoints without warning. They killed farmers, laborers, and daily workers. I wish our people had weapons to fight against the Taliban and kill them. But no, our people were all impoverished.

Our people (from Mirzaolang) tell the tale of an old man who was confident that the Taliban would not harm him because of his age. He went to the village but the Taliban did not have mercy, even to him. They injured him and afterward, while he was in pain and agony, they threw him among the salt in a salt shop. The old man died there in pain and agony. Believe me when I say that our apple, grape, and other fruits were still hanging in their trees when we fled Mirzaolang. I still cannot sleep well and remember that we would pray to die rather than get captured by the Taliban and not die by their bullet at every moment while fleeing. I still remember the Taliban noises (as a result of their attack); it is truly terrifying. I really want the government to bring my family and me back to Mirzaolang so that we live in our homes independently and not in refugee tents. We are tired of being displaced and homeless. We want to go back to our homes, lands, and its crops.

He Died from Attack Helicopter Bullets

Husniya Khademi is a housewife and is the third narrator of this incident. She is narrating from her mother’s perspective. This story tells of the massacre in Bamiyan during the Soviet occupation. Many lost their lives at that time and bodies were buried in mass graves.

Narrator: Husniya Khademi (granddaughter of a sibling)

Victim: Reza Bakhsh Zawar (43-years-old)

Place of incident: Shahidan, Bamiyan Province

Date of incident: 1979

In spring of 1979, the Soviet soldiers shot him to death in the Shahidan area of Bamiyan Province. Reza Bakhsh Zawar was born in Norka Village, Sia Dara area of Bamiyan Province. During the years of the Soviet attacks, my mother’s uncle went to Shahidan area to look after his nephew. As a result of the rounds of fire by Soviet attack helicopters on the people of Shahidan area, he, along with forty other people, were killed. One bullet hit his head and the other hit his chest. The dead bodies remained on the ground for several days until the Soviet attacks calmed down, after which the people gathered to bury all the bodies in a mass grave without any graveclothes.

My mother’s uncle (Reza Bakhsh Zawar) was a farmer. He was married with a daughter and a son. His parents had died previously and he did not have any siblings. His body was left where he had died for a week. His wife did not know about his death, but after my father went to that area and came back, he informed her. His wife left the village one month after his death. Their house, which my uncle is taking care of, is still there to this day. The widow was the breadwinner of the family and they migrated to Iran where she worked to support two of her children. Afterward, her son broke his leg in a traffic accident and he can no longer work. Also, my mother’s aunt, who had cancer, went to Iran but passed away in the spring of 2019. She left behind two sons and two daughters.

The life of Reza Bakhsh Zawar’s widow was good in Iran at the beginning, but her son’s (Asad) traffic accident has caused a toll on them. The victim’s widow passed away last year in Iran, and her daughter also passed away this year. Asad is married and has one daughter. He is forced to provide for her despite his physical disadvantage.

The Curse of Incidents Always Hit the Poor

In the dark midnight, all were sleeping. That night when the explosion took place, I imagined our home upside down. Those scenes of horror and darkness still haunt my dreams. In the dark, I tried to move and look for my family members to see who was fine and who was injured, but I couldn’t get up and move. Then I noticed that my leg felt wet. I was injured by broken glass from my house. I had lost one leg in 1989 in mine explosion. This time, my other leg was injured.

All my family were terrified. The floor was covered with broken glass. We could not see anything in the dark. After the first incident when I lost my leg, my family behaved and liked me like before. But it was painful for me because I sometimes feel that I can’t do enough with my disability. When I was injured the first time, I was treated at the government hospital. We were also provided with other assistance. After I got out of the hospital, were provided with monthly coupons along with 4000 Afghanis in cash. But the assistance our current government provides is not sufficient. I ask the government to bring peace and not forget war victims. We were disabled in this land and we are its citizens. Sometimes I hear very unfair words. They say that people like me were culprits or perpetrators and that's why we were disabled. When I hear these words, it makes me sad and my heart breaks.

We Experienced No Peace for Forty Year

This story begins in a street on a rainy day. The camera has been set up near the gate of the house and Dr. Sharif, a colleague from the Afghanistan Human Rights and Democracy Organization, is getting closer to Kabal Shah. Although Kabal Shah walks with the aid of two metal canes, he throws a glance toward the camera and enters the premises of the house. With a slight delay, Dr. Sharif follows behind him into the house through the gate.

The following scene is of the two-story cement building with a set of blue-painted stairs that take Kabal Shan to the second floor. With no side railings on the stairway, Kabal Shah has no choice but to climb it. Using the skill of climbing those stairs every, he deftly climbs them. The sound of his metal canes hitting the stair steps can be heard from afar and for a few seconds, the face of Kabal Shah’s mother appears behind the door on the second floor. After that, a child rests his face by the door to look outside. The metal door hitting the wall lets a small echo and with a single glance at the camera, Kabal Shah enters the hallway.

The next footage is a close up of the face of Kabal Shah’s mother. She is an elderly woman who has the corner of her headscarf in her mouth with tears pooled at her eyes. She holds her sob back while looking at the camera and when she talks, it can be seen that she no longer has all of her teeth. The conversation starts and a little boy sitting beside Kabal Shah, probably aged seven or eight, laughs. Life in this household is in a strange contrast between sorrow and happiness. These recorded moments in the conversation show life swinging between sorrow and happiness. The mother is sat on the right with Kabal Shah in the middle and his son to his right. His other son, maybe a year or two older, is on the left-hand side.

During the conversation, the boys do not talk. The story is told by the mother sometimes but mostly by Kabal Shah. The connection between their words and sentences works like the bond between chains. Both speak of the same incident, but what creates a difference are the feelings which the narrators express through words and the entire conversation. They fill the room. This quality exists in different parts of stories in this book. In fact, there has been a conscious effort to reflect the atmosphere created by the conversations.

Narrator: Kabal Shah (Victim’s brother)

Victim: Adel Shah

Date of incident: April 22, 2017

Place of incident: Shah Shaheed area, Kabul City

My name is Kabal Shah. I am a resident in Shah Shaheed, Etifaq Mosque area. I am fifty-one years old. The victim was my brother. His name was Adel Shah. Our father’s name was Shireen Shah. My brother was 24-years-old. The incident? I will tell you the exact date and day, which was April 22, 2017. In Shash Darak area, in front of the kiosk printing shop, an explosion happened. It was eight in the morning and he was going to work when he became a martyr.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Abdulhaq Square, right?

Kabal Shah: No, after you pass Abdulhaq Square and turn the corner towards Shah Darak, there is a street which has a kiosk shop. Yes, [the explosion happened] across that shop. He used to work there. There was a shop there in ‘Nangarhar Say’ shop area, a barber’s shop. He was a student and worked there. He was going to his work that day.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: He was the breadwinner of our family. He (points to Kabal Shah) in this condition.

Kabal Shah: That is true but I also have a store of my own and I was sitting there when I heard a loud boom. I heard the explosion.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: We also heard the explosion.

Kabal Shah: After hearing the explosion, my younger brother came to the store and I told him, “You, Suleiman, quickly call Adel.” There has been an explosion, I told my brother. My brother quickly took his phone out and called his number. His number quickly started to ring and just as quickly, someone answered the phone. The person responsible for the morgue in Wazir Akbar Khan Hospital had Adel’s phone and answered, “the owner of this phone has died.” He said that right away, by God. After he said [Adel] had died, I was shocked and did not know what to make of it. We endured so much pain that year, you cannot even imagine. From our store, we went to Wazir Akbar Khan. We visited the morgue in the hospital. They opened a mortuary cabinet and after looking in, we saw Adel’s lifeless body. He was only 24-years-old and had not married. He was not even engaged.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: He was asleep here and I was praying. I called my other son, “Sulieman Jan! Get up for the prayer.” Adel asked me, “What time is it?” I told my son it was six in the morning. He was an early bird. He would wake up even earlier, that is why I did not wake him up. When he was leaving, I told him, “Son, you did not give me money. Give me fifty Afghanis..." We have gone through very bad experiences: two people died from land mines, seven people got buried under house rubble, and he (Kabal Shah) lost his leg in another land mine. Ten people in total. Besides Adel, I have lost four other sons. And along with these four sons, I have lost two daughters. Two of my daughters died back-to-back very young. My son was also young. I took care of widows; I took care of orphans.

Kabal Shah: Yes, we also lost them. Do not talk about them because this is getting recorded.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: No, it is okay. Around 15-16 people from our family... We have lost around 15-16... we are five or six hundred thousand in debt.

Kabal Shah: Yes, yes.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Just this morning – by God, if I had a wink of sleep the night before – oh God, I said, “You want this yourself but why are you saying at one in the morning that I...” I pray this in Tahajud prayer. Their father... those are his pictures. Listen, his children were this small when I started caring for them. I made a home for them and now they live in Nawabad.

Kabal Shah: Do not say these things because they are getting recorded in the video.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: It is alright.

Kabal Shah: It is not alright.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Let me vent my heartache to them so that I let out my pain.

Kabal Shah: I don’t know. Talk about some other pain, like that person and that...

Kabal Shah’s Mother: We took care of his elder brother’s widow for seven years. His elder brother also...

Kabal Shah: He died a natural death around seven years ago.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: He left young orphans behind; his widow behind after he died. His father also passed away from the grief of losing his son.

Kabal Shah: One year after that, we lost my other brother.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: One year after. I was praying in the morning and called my younger son named Sulieman and told him to get up. Adel woke up after that and I told him, “Come and have breakfast at home today.” He responded, “No, I will go because it is late.” I asked him, “Son, do you have money?” he gave me a fifty Afghani note and said, “I earned this.” He got half of the enringing at his place because even if he earned around five hundred, he would get 200-250 Afghanis at the end. He said that that money was kept in our safe. After his death, I asked Kabal Shah how much money was in the safe and he said around 200-300 Afghanis. It was the money which he had earned. After giving a fifty Afghani note, he left and said goodbye. May God ruin them [perpetrators], so they could feel what we, widows, and orphans feel.

Kabal Shah: After that, I went to the hospital. I called my other brother, relatives, and friends, and brought his body back home.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: I did not see his face.

Kabal Shah: You would not have been able to look at his face.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: That- (weeping)

Kabal Shah: I did not bring the body back home and took it directly to the mosque. I also brought his [empty] coffin from our yard because I thought my sisters and others were here.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: One of my daughters became paralyzed because of the pain of losing him. She will be taken to Pakistan for vaccination.

Kabal Shah: Yes, all because of grief. She is about forty-years-old and has a husband.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: She is in such a state that she needs to take fifteen vaccines and each cost six thousand, although she does not have much money.

Kabal Shah: They live in Khair Khana. They live really far from us.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: They live in Khair Khana but she is in that condition now because of the loss of my son.

Kabal Shah: Yes, then we brought his body to the mosque and with family, relatives, and other people, we buried him in the Shah Shaheed cemetery. By God, his behavior with mother, brother, and everyone else was good. He was good to everyone.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: In Shah Shaheed, he worked right here in Shah Shaheed. One or two [of my sons] could not find a livelihood here, so they decided to go to Macroyan.

Kabal Shah: Yes, they went to live in Macroyan Say. If I make an estimate, dear doctor, it was 1988-89. In the winter of that year, my brother and his son went out – it was when the Soviet forces had just left the north – where the soviet used to be. They were out and about to gather wood or other things, and take them home. However, they stepped on a land mine and died. No, my nephew was single as he was only fifteen-years-old. No, we do not have any pictures of them.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: It was during the Soviet occupation.

Kabal Shah: Forty days. Only forty days went by after that incident in 1988-89 when the three-story house that we had collapsed suddenly. It was winter when the house collapsed. Seven of our family members died in that house. My mother, my sister-in-law, and five of my brother’s children were under the rubble and died. The next year, I got injured and lost my leg on a land mine. Since that time, until around 2012, when my brother drove a taxi around Sarai Shamali and Shah Shaheed, he was well. But while driving, he got a stroke and collapsed.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: It was because of the grief of losing his children. He lost four daughters and three sons under that house.

Kabal Shah: That poor man also died like that inside his taxi. Just like my other brother who died from the explosion, I got a call from Jamhoriat Hospital, “Is Khak Shah your brother?” I responded with an affirmative and they told me, “Come then. He has passed away here in Jamhoriat Hospital.”

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Just look at all this pain, brother.

Kabal Shah: Then in 2013, I lost my father. After that, one of my sisters passed away. Then again, I lost another sister.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: All because of grief and sorrow.

Kabal Shah: Then, Adel, my brother also died in an explosion. These are the problems in life. It is like this all around the world.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: I do not care if the entirety of Afghanistan (unintelligible) I do not care about it.

Kabal Shah: Changes, you ask. Except worry, pain, sorrow, and my brother’s absence, there has been no significant change, you see. By God, one of my sisters became paralyzed because of the grief of his loss, you see. As for my mother, she spends day and night crying. And for me personally, I am grappling with the debt of the money I borrowed for my brother’s funeral, which I have not been able to pay to this day. I have paid a portion of it but the other part is remaining. God willing, I want to pay the rest. There are other changes too. Life is like that, after all. No, work is not going well these days. There is much less work these days. Currently, we are five brothers. Four of us live together and the other lives in Khair Khana.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: They live in a rented house. They are struggling economically.

Kabal Shah: We have a barber’s shop and that is our profession. We make 500, or 600, or 400 Afghanis a day. Work was good previously. Work went well. These days, there is not much work.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: God knows that since I lost my son, I do not have any money. Once the life situation gets bad, you will feel sorry looking at my children. My other son became the father of few children the past few years but we still have not been able to pay our debts. He is obligated to pay the debts until now. Around three hundred thousand or so is left to be paid off. The [debtor] came after him every hour for their money, every hour. My son, Adel, was a hard worker and he could bring a bit of bread and money. If he could not bring, we would sit hungry.

Kabal Shah: No, that has not happened.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: What has not?

Kabal Shah: For example, not having food to eat or other necessities. No, through God’s grace, it has not. Adel was my third brother.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Yes, third son, after Sulieman.

Kabal Shah: By God, everyone knows that those who are the enemy of humanity, enemy of the people, and enemy of religion do these kinds of things. [About the peace process] It is good if it happens. Look at us, for example, look at what happened to us. All the things that happened in the past, let it not be repeated from no one. May the generations after us live a peaceful life, you see. May they live a good life. And if they make an apology, that will also be very good. For example, if something happens, it is said that the Taliban were responsible. There has been enough war, it should end. It has been forty years. There is no other country which is in war more than five years, six years – ten years at most – but it has been forty years in Afghanistan. During these forty years, a solution should have been found.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: We never experienced a moment without sorrow, none. In forty years, we never had a moment without sorrow.

Kabal Shah: My mother is 65-years-old.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: I was fourteen-years-old when the war began. We are originally from Bagram but after the war started, we left that place and went there. We searched for 35 houses for rent, 35. There was a small house made of mud, which collapsed entirely. When our life had gotten a bit better, God took my son from me. I am no longer happy with my life.

Kabal Shah: We have many memories, a lot of memories. Among them, there are happy ones and sad ones. But my brother... I have one memory of him that I remembered last night. One day, I got upset with him and started beating him. While I was hitting him, he looked at me and said, “I do not get hurt.” He was athletic and used to play sports. He told me, “I will not get hurt, only your hands will get hurt. There is no use no matter how much you hit me.” This is one memory that comes to my mind 24/7. Another memory of him is when he was in the store with us though I was older. He was more muscular and athletic.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Yes, he had curly hair.

Kabal Shah: No, no. The one with curly hair is my other brother.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: No, [Adel] also had curly hair.

Kabal Shah: No, he did not let his hair grow that way.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Macho, he was very macho man.

Kabal Shah: No, no, he is still here. I have other memories of him, he was my brother after all. As for bad memories, no he did not have any bad behavior and was not disrespectful towards us. I do not have any such memories. Should they take his dombra?

Kabal Shah’s Mother: His toothbrushes, all of them.

Kabal Shah: Should they take his dombra?

Kabal Shah’s Mother: As you wish.

Kabal Shah: Rabia Balkhi? Yes.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: We still have his jacket

Kabal Shah: School? No, he only studied for a year or two because it was the time of war and revolution.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: So many people’s futures were destroyed.

Kabal Shah: All of us live in this house. This is my brother’s kid and those two kids belong to my other brother. About a month or a month and a half ago, this got broken. It fell on the ground at home. Is this picture of his alright?

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Go son and bring his jacket as well. His backpack was also with us. My son took his belongings around two or three days ago.

Kabal Shah: His shoes are not here

Kabal Shah’s Mother: His socks are not here but his shoes are

Kabal Shah: He was wearing those shoes on that day

Kabal Shah’s Mother: There are there

Kabal Shah: Let me tell you another story from that day. It has been recorded but, on that day, we brought his body back home. The driver of the ambulance was a very nice and kind man. He waited outside our home for a long time. From here, he took us to the mosque and waited there. He told us, “If you want to take the body any place else, I will take you. I am not going anywhere.” Because of that, I wanted to give him five hundred Afghanis but he insisted that he will not take it. However, Adel’s shoes were there and the driver asked that if I allow it, he wanted to take those shoes. So, he took the shoes.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: He had bought it recently.

Kabal Shah: People say that a car with a foreign national was passing through. As the car was passing through, the explosion happened.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Son, throw in his shoes there as well.

Kabal Shah: The person was sat in a Mercedes car when the explosion happened. God knows, maybe Adel had stuck his head out. As a result, his head, which was unprotected, bore all the injuries. No wallah, he did not have a Tazkira ID card. No, wallah, he did not have a...

Kabal Shah’s Mother: He had a school report card but I do not know where it got lost. Maybe it was left in the school during the revolution. Moving here and moving there. We had to move a lot. We went towards north, then went to another place from there. And another place after place, and had to take all three of them to school…

Kabal Shah: Go

Kabal Shah’s Mother: What for?

Kabal Shah: His [Adel] dombra.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: Not sure if the strings are working any longer or not. I had brought this from Taj Qurghan for him. I once went to Mazar and he asked me to bring a dombra for him. So, I brought this from Taj Qurghan for him.

Kabal Shah: He liked this dombra a lot.

Kabal Shah’s Mother: wallah as for myself, I was serving as a soldier in 1989 in Unit 25 of Khost Province. During my service, I got caught on a land mine and lost my leg. My leg was torn to pieces and I was taken to Charsad Bistar Hospital. However, my leg could not be saved in that hospital and the doctors told me they had to amputate it. Thus, my leg got cut off there.

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