A Wedding Ceremony That Never Took Place
Narrator: Kobra
Victim: Mohammad Sarwar
Date of the incident: 1979-1980
Location of the incident: Salang, Parwan
When war becomes widespread, no one is immune to it. War reserves a share for everyone and those who survive it have many stories to tell. What all these stories have in common is that they happened in a situation of absolute emergency.
In those times nothing is normal and chaos reigns. At the same time, people’s pains and suffering are not fully equal. Similarities can be drawn but each victim of violence has his or her own distinctive story. Some are hurt because their children were killed while others were subjected to forced displacement. Yet others are left behind without any support, suffering in solitude. War retains a different fate for different people.
The story of Mohammad Sarwar is that of all those young men and women whose wedding ceremony never took place. Mohammad Sarwar was 20 years old when he was forcibly conscripted during the government of the last communist president, Dr. Najibullah. He was deployed to Panjsher valley. There he served for a year and later came back home to spend his holidays with his family. During the visit, Sarwar got engaged. He happily returned to military duty hoping to come back soon and hold his wedding party. He even bought all the things needed for the ceremony. Exactly 20 days after he had reassumed his military duty, his family was informed of his death. It was shocking news for everyone. His father later fell off the roof of his house and remained severely handicapped for the rest of his life. Hence, his mother was forced to carry the pain of both her deceased son and her handicapped husband. Ever since, the death of her young son has occupied her entire being and she never again attended any wedding party of friends or family members as these reminded her of her son’s premature death.
The Story of Sarwar’s Mother
My son was only 18 years old when he was taken to military service under Babrag Karmal’s rule. He was killed a year later. First, he used to serve in Kabul and then transferred to the Panjshir valley. He spent two months there and then got killed. During a year of military service, he came home only once. He always reassured us that one day his service would end and he would come back home. Two days before the official end of service, he got killed. He was buried in Khaja Bughra before we even came to know about his death. Later, we opened his grave and saw him one last time.
The death of Sarwar has severely affected our lives as he was our only son and breadwinner. We have suffered a great deal and I have been crying for my son day and night ever since he died. For a while, my husband was able to work and sustain the family but he had to stop working 9 years ago due to old age. Now, we have no one to support us.
I still hold on to my son’s spoon and plate as well as his old blanket, a watch and a ring. I have kept these objects to remember my son, especially the ring. When his clothes were returned to us after his death, his ring was attached to them.
